Random Thoughts
First, if you haven't voted today, go vote. Unless you don't live in the US, in which case don't bother. If you want to make me happy, vote for a Democrat. If you want to make Syd happy, vote the other way. Syd has 50 guns. I have 0. Your choice.
I'm driving to court today and saw this sign: "Donkey. $500" If any of you have a pressing need for a donkey, and $500, let me know. I could probably get it put on hold for you.
I'm listening to Pandora and they're playing a Sheryl Crow song. Since they play songs based on other songs I admit to liking, I start to wonder if I'm gay, (and if so where I can get some crystal meth and a male hooker), and then a friend calls me. Wants to know if I know anyone who can get him tickets for a Nick Lachey show, because his "wife really likes him." Uh-huh. I feel much better about myself now, because I have never uttered the words "Hey, do you know anyone who could get me tickets to the Nick Lachey show?"
If I ever run for political office, my main campaign platform will be to promise that everyone of my goddamn lawn signs will be taken down by the weekend after election day. Even if I have to do it myself. Of course, if I ever ran for office, I wouldn't be worried about the skeletons in my closet so much as the live hookers and runaways.
Metaphorically speaking of course.
I'm driving to court today and saw this sign: "Donkey. $500" If any of you have a pressing need for a donkey, and $500, let me know. I could probably get it put on hold for you.
I'm listening to Pandora and they're playing a Sheryl Crow song. Since they play songs based on other songs I admit to liking, I start to wonder if I'm gay, (and if so where I can get some crystal meth and a male hooker), and then a friend calls me. Wants to know if I know anyone who can get him tickets for a Nick Lachey show, because his "wife really likes him." Uh-huh. I feel much better about myself now, because I have never uttered the words "Hey, do you know anyone who could get me tickets to the Nick Lachey show?"
If I ever run for political office, my main campaign platform will be to promise that everyone of my goddamn lawn signs will be taken down by the weekend after election day. Even if I have to do it myself. Of course, if I ever ran for office, I wouldn't be worried about the skeletons in my closet so much as the live hookers and runaways.
Metaphorically speaking of course.
posted by limpy99 at 8:55 AM
11 Comments:
I voted buddy! Dems all the way.
I'd totally vote for you.
I didn't know anyone over the age of 14 listened/liked Nick Lachay. Learn something new (scary) everyday.
Who's this Lachey person, anyway?
Maybe HE needs a donkey. If he has his own show, it's possible he's got the $500 bucks to buy it.
Maybe he could pay YOU $500 bucks to determine if you are gay. Would $500 bucks be enough for that?
Tell you what Tai. I'll give you $500 to determine if I'm gay. As long as we're negotiating and all.
You might have to worry a little bit about the fact that the friend thought YOU would know how to score some Lachey tickets.
It's a lot like asking if someone can borrow your Streisand collection without asking if you have one.
Actually, I know people with casino connections, which is apparently where this concert is taking place.
No, I do not know anyone in the mob.
I don't think it really matters anymore, Limpy. I voted, but I really don't give a fuck. They all suck.
Limpy99: While you're at it, when you run for office, will you add to your platform a proposition for people who put up yard-sale signs to (1) put the actual dates of their yard sales instead of "today" (2)take them down after the yard sales are over?
Alkelda, done.
I voted, and straight Democrat to boot. I've NEVER done that before, grew up a cradle born Republican and just voted the same way my parents did. Gah.
Of course....metaphoracally.
I lucked out today and arrived at the polling place when the line was shorter than any other time during the day. (Or so I was told). In a close race, my chosen Congressional candidate only just won, defeating the five-term incumbent. Wow! I feel like dancing a jig, but I’ll settle for a glass of wine.
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