Monday, February 13, 2006

Something I like

This could be a warm and fuzzy post, especially with Valentine's Day right around the corner...Oh shit, it really is right around the corner. You know something that I like?

Strip bars.

Kind of killed the warm and fuzzies right there didn't it?

Yep, I like strip bars. I like going to them and sitting back and watching the general chaos. I like talking to naked women who aren't telling me the truth about anything and have no intention to strat doing so anytime soon. I like hearing how hot I am and what big muscles I have and then two minutes I like hearing the exact same thing said to the 80 year old leper in a wheelchair sitting to my right. I like it when the shot girl tries to rip me off by pretending she can't remember if I gave her a $10 bill or a $20 bill exactly 4.5 seconds ago. I like it when she pretends to get pissed when I call her on that. I like it when we all have a good laugh 3 seconds after that and then I give her the $10 anyway. I like getting the next two rounds on the house because we all know that we're all on to each other and now everyone's just up for a good time. I like going to strip bars with my buddy when he's just cleaned up at the poker tables and has no intention of letting anything as silly as a couple hundred bucks getting in between him and what might have been the best lap dance ever. I like it when it turns out he's, Ahem, "dating" one of the dancers and we get the inside scoop on everything in the club, good, bad and really, really ugly. I like arguing with the strippers about whether or not Nick Cave writes good poetry, all the while never taking my eyes off her see through mesh top. I like getting a lap dance and then getting propositioned for more. I like being smart enough to run at that point, albeit politely. I like telling my buddy, "Hey that girl looks cute in a 'I'm addicted to heroin' sort of way", and five minutes later finding out that he bought you two lap dances from the smack-head.

It was a good weekend.


Blogger Ranea said...

I remember being a shot girl, I still have my leather harness that holds the shot glasses. But I never tried to cheap anyone on the change, that's wrong! Advise for your wife, stick a post-it to his monitor. He won't forget another holiday:)

11:29 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Actually, I already have her Valentine's gift taken care of. I just needed a good lead in. You caught me.

3:36 PM  
Blogger little sister said...

You have a zen approach to strip clubs, I illusions, just there for the boobies ;-)

ain't nothin' wrong with that :)

7:31 AM  

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