Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I Prove My Worth As A Hunter/Gatherer

This morning I'm on my way to work and bagged a robin. My weapon of choice was a Honda Accord, operated at some70-75 mph. While I would like to think that my inherent skill at hunting robins with a car led to the kill, I have to say I was helped enormously by the robin's determination to fly directly into the path of the car.

While the loud thunk and big spray of feathers were gratifying, I was not able to stop and pick up my trophy. Besides which the robin is Connecticut's state bird and I'm pretty sure I've committed a felony.

Jesus what a depressing way to start the day.

7 Comments:

Blogger Pud said...

I myself have hunted a robin with a vehicle. Only the robin got stuck in the grill and I was too grossed out to pull the poor thing out. So I went and got my oil changed at Jiffy Lube and they pulled it out for me.

1:42 PM  
Blogger little sister said...

The robin is Connecticut's state bird? I mean, at least Indiana and about 19 other states have the cardinal...you know, the male cardinals are all pretty red and don't usually fly directly into the path of a car.

sorry your day started that way, though.

2:02 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Could be worse, our state animal is the sperm whale

2:25 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Yeah, it was a depressing way to start the day. I say that as a non-hunter; for I, too, have bagged birds—and even a deer—using your weapon of choice. Like you and the robin, in each case it was the animal that decided to intersect with the movement of my car. The two worse cases were the bird who resolved to hit my windshield, leaving feathers and shit plastered all over it and the humongous buck deer who tried to jump my speedily moving car. There’s a longer story to the latter—too long to write as a comment.

May the creatures we have each unintentionally destroyed via automobile forgive us and rest in peace.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Come to Mississippi. I'll take you out in K's F350. Hell, we could bag Honda Accords with that mofo.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Ranea said...

Try bagging a Buzzard with a Ford Taurus! That'll wake you up in the morning quicker than coffee for sure!!:)

2:57 PM  
Blogger Big Heavy said...

it was you or him... you had to do what you had to do!

3:35 PM  

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