Friday, March 10, 2006

Thus Bringing The "Douchebag of the Year" Contest to an Early End

Today's paper brings with it the news that a fine, upstanding man, (and I use that term loosely), named Matthew Dubay, 25, of Saginaw, MI, has brought a countersuit against a young, (I'm assuming that, she could be 68 for all I know), woman in order to avoid any fall out from her happening to bear his child. It seems they had sex, she got pregnant, and she sued for child support. Now he's brought a counter-suit, seeking to avoid any legal, emotional or financial reponsibilities inherent to having a child. The article goes on to say that Dubay, (again, Matthew Dubay, 25, Saginaw, MI), has become the public face of a "men's rights movement." Well, with the fame of becoming a public face goes the noteriety, so to you, Matthew Dubay, 25, of Saginaw, MI, I say, with great relish, please fuck off. And kindly stop referring to yourself as a man, because you're giving the rest of us a bad name.

As I understand the article, the men's rights movement in this particualr case is seeking to give men the same right as women in deciding to have children or not have children. Since no one can force anyone to have an abortion, that means that these men, (again, using the term loosely), seek to get the right to say to the woman that if she decides to have the child that they created, she is on her own and will get no support from them. From a strictly legal point of view, I suppose this is fair. We're all adults here, we all know that when Rod A goes into Slot B and then moves back and forth in a vigorous thrusting motion, occasionally this produces Goo C which interacts with Egg D and next thing you know the population gets a little bit bigger. If a woman gets pregnant that way she should be prepared to take the responsibility for that. Right? right.

AND SO SHOULD THE MAN!!!

See without Tab A, Egg D doesn't meet Goo C, and the whole process gets short-circuited. Unless you're Melissa Etheridge and David Crosby, but I don't even want to think about that because frankly, that's gross. And who in their right mind thinks "I need a good gene pool for my kids. Hey, David Crosby!!"? Don't get me wrong, Melissa can sing, but if I need any important advice on life-altering decisions I'm looking elsewhere.

That aside, there's more to being a man that having a cock, and young Matthew Dubay, (25, Saginaw MI), needs to learn that. Being a man means accepting the consequences of your actions. You fucked her, one or both of you missed the boat on the old birth control, and like it or not, you're gonna be a Daddy. So quit being such a douchebag and man up. And I don't just mean spend child support. That's not even half the battle. Be there for the kid. Raise him or her. Support them. Love them.

And for fuck's sake, teach them to be a better person than you.

12 Comments:

Blogger Syd said...

limpy,I think I know exactly why your wife chose you. Good man.

Of course, you could have a giant weiner too, but that would just be "gravy". (ok, that sounds disgusting)

Anyway, I adore you for this post.

10:11 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Very well said. Anyone who can use the word "doucebag" in a blog post and come across as responsible, upstanding and as a good father/husband deserves an award of his own.

Not sure what, but an award, nonetheless.

Heh....I'll go into our warehouse and see what kind of an "award" I can create for someone like that!

::::rubs hands together maniacally and laughs::::

10:39 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Syd: Well, I'd like to think the weiner had something to do with it. But I am Irish.

Soozie: I look forward to the award, but be advised, we already have a pain in the ass dog.

10:59 AM  
Blogger LouLaughlin said...

Limpy: We agree! I know it's rare, but we agree! I am all for father's rights, but not for the rights of the father to be thrown down the toilet!

As a guy with more than one rugrat... and who has to pay child support... Having the kids is more than worth it!

This whole suit is just bad for everyone... Making it "legal" to be "Dead-beat Dad"... If that's Father's rights... Then it's the right to be a huge weiner (in the not good sense!)

2:48 PM  
Blogger LouLaughlin said...

BTW: Did I tell you I am envious of you? More readers than me, and a cooler wife than me... hmmm... I wonder if the two are related?

2:50 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

You tell 'em! I agree and support you and your award!

2:56 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Oh my god, Limpy! I did nothing but child support enforcement for the state of Alabama for 12 freakin' years!!!!

I can't begin to tell you all the bullshit stories I heard from assholes like this guy!

I just couldn't take it anymore.

That's one of the reasons why I quit.

Imagine listening to "men" like him and the women that would be with men like him for 12 years....

GAWD! I'm surprised I never killed any of 'em.

Great post!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I have been following Mr. Dubay’s lawsuit since I first heard about it on NPR. My basic thoughts: If one does not want to become a father, he should take precautions (like a vasectomy); if one does not want to take precautions, he should not engage in sex; and if he does and becomes a father, he should support the kid.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Ranea said...

You tell em' Limpy! I like the term you used, "Man up". I wish my ex would have done that. Hey! that gives me an idea for a post. Come see me later.:)

10:21 AM  
Blogger little sister said...

If anyone can be a worse douchebag than that, we're in a lot of trouble!

Excellent post, Limpy!

(can't wait to see what sort of 'trophy' Soozieq creates for you ...mohahahaha!!!)

9:19 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Your last sentence brought me to a standing ovation.

Biology is what it is, Mr. Dubay. You're a daddy now. Do your job and help that person you co-created to reach his/her amazing potential.

2:49 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

I think they should cut off item P from Dubay so he cannot procreate once again...

Cut em all off the maggots!

12:54 PM  

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