Saturday, March 18, 2006

Why You Shouldn't See Mission Impossible 3

Well, the most obvious reason is that the last one really sucked, and the first one wasn't all that much better. Generally speaking, trilogies don't get better as they age, so I can't think the latest edition will do much better.

But the better reason is that Tom Cruise is going to make a butt load of money off of it, and he's the biggest crybaby on the planet. As we all know, Tom has lately had some, well, issues with his public image. I'm sure we don't need to walk through those again. Can you say "over-compensating for something"? I knew you could.

But his latest stunt is threatening not to do any publicity for MI3 unless Viacom promises not to show the South Park episode about Tom Cruise being in the closet. For thos eof you who haven't seen it, for some reasons the Scientologists decide that Stan, (or Kyle, I can never tell them apart), is the second coming of L. Ron Hubbard and they start to worship him. Cruise, a well-known Scientologist, shows up and asks the new messiah if he likes his acting. Stan/Kyle says he guesses he's OK but that he think Leon DiCaprio is better. Tom cries, runs into the kid's closet and refuses to come out. The rest of the episode involves various people asking Tom to come out of the closet. And a whole bunch of pot shots at Scientology. I'm not a big fan of South Park, but that episode was hilarious.

As an aside, I generally try to avoid picking on people's religions, but if your religion had a lot to do with the Travolta movie "Battleship Earth", well, all bets are off.

Back to Cruise, this is the sort of behavior I can't stand. What, no one can make fun of you? You're too good for satire? After acting like a lunatic in public on a variety of issues for the better part of a year? Come on. Lighten up Francis. Most people probably already think you're nuts, and if you're going to put this much effort into squashing a poorly drawn cartoon that insinuates you might like hangng around in closets, well, I have to wonder why you care that much. Laugh it off, cash your $20 million check, and then disappear to an isolated compound. I hear Neverland is available.

9 Comments:

Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Where Scientology is concerned, some question whether it is a religion or a business. As I suppose you know, the German government and the Scientologists have been in an on-going battle for years. The German authorities have taken measures to combat the influence of Scientology; they argue that it is a business operation with dangerous anti-democratic tendencies.

6:09 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

My own opinion, and I say this as a very, very lapsed Catholic, is that all organized religions are more concerned with business than they are with the spiritul side of things. Still, Scientology seems to go that extra, extra mile in that regard.

I think that, as long as you're not hurting anyone, your god is where you find it and no one else needs to be worried about it.

7:51 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Extra points for the "Stripes" reference.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Xenu can't be very happy with you right now.

You shakin'?

4:19 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Well said!

6:07 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Maybe Xenu's the one who's hiding the goddamn cordless phone right now.

Or is it Xenudamn phone?

8:52 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Xenudamn!! LOL

4:35 AM  
Blogger Bruce said...

Simply put, Tom Cruise is an idiot.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I can't wait for the spawn of tomkat to make it's appearance.....

wonder what he'll do on Oprah then?

4:32 AM  

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