Friday, April 21, 2006

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Let me just start by saying that I want to hear more about the French maid outfit Soozie Q was talking about in the last comments about Geraldo Rivera. At the same time, I don't want to hear enough to get her dog Moto going, because he's 3,000 miles away and I'm still afraid of him.

I read in the paper the other day that there are some lawsuits in the works becuase, get this, Viagra can cause sudden blindness!!!! How's that for a side effect? It gets better. Apparently, the blindness sets in shortly after the man, um, well, ejaculates. Think about that. "Oh, god, oh, god, oh god ohgodohgodohgod!!! Wow that was great, honey, I'm so glad I started taking Viag...I CAN'T FUCKING SEE!!!!" Talk about your trade-offs. I'm not sure if the blindness is temporary or permanent. I remember when one of the potato chip companies came out with a product that contained something called olestra. Olestra did something like reduce all the fat in potato chips, but came with the unfortunate side effect of causing something called anal leakage. Until now I thought that this was probably the most unfortunate side effect going, but when faced with the choice of getting it up or going blind, I guess that's the new winner. On the other hand, while it's easy to just avoid the potato chips, I'm not sure if I had a choice between never getting it up and going blind that I wouldn't go "eh, I've seen the sunsets before."

Random and quick musical recommendation. Dance Hall Crashers. I have one of their CDs, the highly originally titled "The Live Record", and it just rocks. I don't think they're all that active right now, but if you can find one of their CDs in one of those remainder bins, buy it. Great combination of ska and punk.

I'm off to load up on Cialis right now. And if I do get a boner that lasts for four hours, the last person I'm going to call is my doctor. You unfortunate people will probably hear all about it.


Blogger Pud said...

I think most guys would agree with you and fore-go sight for the boner.

8:46 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Or they could skip the Viagra and check your Terrible Towel picture.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

Pud's body could put Viagra and Cialis out of business.

I might take some temporary blindness if I had trouble getting it up and needed Viagra. Then again, I'd probably just try one of the others. In some situations the temporary blindness could be a blessing.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Pud stole my comment.

I have always wondered what they did for guy who showed up at the emergency room complaining of a 4 hour erection. It there an antidote for Viagra/Cialis/Levitra? Or perhaps they just show them a picture of Barbara Bush naked.

10:57 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Thank you, Nonny. There's an image for me.

11:39 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Oh Nonny... Gaah! I have no idea what the medical indications are, but I'm fairly certain THAT would work.

/off to scrub the image from my brain.

4:12 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

I am still laughing my ass off about the viagra.

7:33 PM  
Blogger Ranea said...

I wonder if you can take just half a Viagra and just need glasses?

7:52 AM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Although I don’t take Viagra (Cialis is much better!), I checked into the Viagra studies a few months ago when I read about the “blindness.” Unless more information has been published, what I learned was (1) the “blindness” is very rare and (2) it is temporary. As I see it, the only men who it would really negatively affect are those fucking a hooker or a lover and couldn’t drive home. The issue is: how do they explain their blindness to their wives?

5:36 PM  
Blogger Madame D said...

Isn't this always the case? Poor guys can't get a break.
No matter what you do to your penis, it results in blindness.

11:35 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Well the Hubs purchased the feather duster, not me. I don't actually *ahem* own a French Maid's Outfit *ahem*, I swear! I was just saying...that um, IF Geraldo wore one and ONLY IF he had a feather duste to go WITH the outfit, the Freaktard would go crazy and bite him.

1:20 PM  

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