Monday, April 17, 2006

Just Like Old Times

My mother took the children away from us this weekend. She always tries to, but my son doesn't like to go to Grandma's that much because Grandma is a tad smothering. Sort of like Savanna Samson is a tad horny. But since his two uncles were over as well and he knew it would be nothing but baseball and belching for 48 hours, off he went. My daughter was off at the first invitation, since she can't get enough of being spoiled.

We celebrated by doing....

Nothing. We just sat and listened to the silence. No one cried. No one tattled. No one had to have one more snack. No one broke anything. Magical.

The next day we went to breakfast a 45 minute drive from our house and waited in line for another half hour and no one went into a conniption fit. If any of you are ever in Middletown, CT, and need breakfast, you could do far, far worse than Rourke's Diner. Unless you have a heart condition in which case you should just order oatmeal.

After breakfast, which we were able to stretch until noon because adults can sit still and talk, (and because we didn't get out of bed until 10:00 am in the first place), we went shopping for crap we probably don't need and definitely can't afford. Although my daughter now has a Tibetan rug for her room, but not the hand-woven kind because I wasn't able to arrange a home mortgage refinancing that quickly on a Saturday. Then my wife took a nap, (in the middle of the afternoon!!) while I took the dog out into the woods. We were out there for two hours and I didn't have to carry anyone. Since there was no talking I was able to get very close to a large woodpecker, but not that close because it turns out Mocha will chase large woodpeckers. Bad girl, Mocha, bad girl. We capped the evening off with a dinner of appetizers and drinks at a local pub at 9 pm.

We agreed that we could get used to such a lifestyle. But we missed the little fuckers so we picked them up yesterday and brought them home. But if anyone of you would like to experience the joys o parenthood without the commitment and want to rent to fairly well-behaved children, just let me know.


Blogger Tiffanie said...

HA! Hilarious. I can so relate to the "no conniption fit" being thrown. Sometimes when I am by myself it really overpowers me when I realize how easy life really is without three little ones pulling at your arm and competing.

I'm like you though. I love em.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

everybody needs to recharge their batteries now & again. Good for you two.

As for the kids...send 'em to me, but please understand that they will be kicked out of school and church within a couple days after their return.

2:14 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Thanks Syd, but my kids haven't seen the inside of a church since they were christened. School might be an issue, but I figure they can handle two weeks in MS in the summer.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

I'm looking forward to summer camp. End of July - 3 weeks with no kids. Our hottub should be in full force by then with plenty of drinking/spa parties. We'll be exhausted by the time the kids arrive home in mid August.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Ahhhh...thanks so much for sharing that story. It just validates my Sex and the City life is for me.

4:01 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Actually, I was hoping to rent the grandparents. Let me know when they're available? Thanks!

4:34 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

I like this idea... "Rent-a-kid". You may just be on to something there.


5:37 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Send 'em down here to Hell!

We want grandkids but our own kids won't cooperate. Somthing about it "being too soon" or their "careers"...

This way, we can practice our "spoiling" techinques on your kids ;-)

6:51 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

When the cat is away, the mice will play.

So will parents when the kids are away.

For sanity and the health of a marriage, I used to recommend that parents have a least one weekend a month just to themselves—if for no other reason (and there are many other reasons) to rest.

9:56 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

Sounds like you a had a lovely day, one I often dream of.

And um, we are not far from CT, but if you are ever up this way, there are places for breakfast that will leave you on the toliet for hours...steer clear. Not fun, even if you have the kids.

7:12 AM  
Blogger Madame D said...

I can't wait until I have a place of my own again, and I will once again have the magic of "daddy visits".
It doesn't even bother me that I have absolutely nothing to do when he's gone.
It's just the fact that I'm finally by myself again!

11:30 PM  

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