Friday, April 07, 2006

More Religion

What with Mother Theresa yesterday, (look, I'm sorry about the walnut crack. Please stop raining toads on my house and get the Angel of Death off the fence in the back yard. He's creeping out the kids), and today's musings, this is getting like a CCD class. I think. I never took one. But my friends did, and it seems like all they talked about there was religion. Which is all I've talked about, (with an aside or two about Paris Hilton going down like the Titanic), for the last two days. So in the next post maybe I'll bust out that stripper thing I started thee other day. I warn you though, it really goes nowhere. But it does have strippers and illicit sex.

Apparently the newest develpoment in Christianity is the Catholic Church recognizing women as equal to men.

Juuuuuust kidding. That'll never happen. They'll recognize Judas Iscariot as a saint before they do that.


Apparently, there is a new gospel due to be revealed. The gospel of Judas. Good old Judas. Good old "I'll sell your Holy Ass out for less than the chariot fare from Jerusalem to Samaria" Judas. The guy we were all taught as wee Cathloics had betrayed our big gun, Jesus H. Christ himself, to the Romans.

I will leave the theological ruminations on this to Nick, who is eminently more qualified to comment on this than I am, (but I'm going to do it anyway), but in traditional Christianity, there are four recognized gospels. Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. The Beatles of Christ as it were. I would bet that any one of them is a better drummer than Ringo though. Apparently, and this I don't know much about, there are far more other gospels out there by other people, including Mary Magdalene, that are not recognized by the holy authorities, and these are called the Gnostic Gospels. And people who beleive them are called heretics and get burned at the stake, or at least they used to, but now they just write wildly popular, (and just as wildly historically inaccurate) novels and make millions off the faith and belief of misguided souls. Just like the Vatican.

Does my lapsed faith show? Just thought I'd ask.

The newest one is, as I said, the Gospel of Judas. Putting aside the inevitable book and movie deal to come, according to this gospel, Judas was actually an integral part of JHC's whole plan, and in fact was instructed by Jesus Himself, (which gives a whole new slant to "I was just following orders"), to betray him so that the Romans could catch Jesus and kill him and then three days later He'd rise again, redeem our sins and if He saw His shadow there would be six more weeks of Lent. From the little I read in the paper, it seems that Jesus told Judas he had to do this and would be seen as the greatest of the Apsotles, (no doubt news to Peter), although he would also be misunderstood and hated by many small Catholic school kids who didn't have access to the Gnostic gospels and barely understood the four we did get.

To me, as a history major and lapsed Catholic, (like you didn't guess), this is endlessly fascinating stuff. To you, the reader, it probably isn't, but remember: Strippers and sex next post!! Poor Judas has been kicked around for nigh on 2 millenia just for doing what Jesus told him to do. And all becuase his gospel didn't get recognized early on. Talk about a public relations disaster.

Maybe not as much of a disaster as getting credit with being the first vampire in the abominable movie "Dracula 2000", which now might need serious reworking, but that's another story.

Anyway, I have this idea in my head of Jesus going up to a dejected Judas, possibly sitting on a swing kicking at dirt with his toes, and saying "OK, look, we let them discover your gospel. It's getting front page play all over the world. Everyone will know your side of the story. Now will you please get off the Medamn swing and come have a beer with the guys?"


Blogger Motor City Monk said...

You can't really live in Antarctica? No one lives there, right? Isn't it really dark and cold, with lot's of igloos and penguins and polar bears?

Liz Phair's last CD sucked and the one before that was lousy. WTF happened to her?

4:34 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Ouch Monk. No, I live in CT. There are no igloos or polar bears in Anarctica. Liz Phair's last CD did in fact suck and whitechocolatespaceegg only had one or two good songs on it. But I still like the other two a lot. I think she just decided she wanted to make money rather than good music.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

I think you're right - guess I shouldn't blame her too much for wanted to make a buck. I saw her in concert after whitechocolate and she was great.

I remember reading that she became friends with Cheryl Crow - probably saw all her wealth and figured she needed to try going commercial.

4:05 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

If she hooks up with Lance Armstorng we'll know you're on to something.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hey! Mother T did look like a walnut!

I’ll have to write on the Gospel of Judas. I believe you are right: Judas has been kicked around too much. That what I like about how he is portrayed in “Jesus Christ Superstar.”

8:36 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

So now do we call him Judas Priest?

10:15 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Again, this is why I don't like organized religion.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Madame D said...

Now, in defence of the Catholics-dear god, why do I bother? I hate them too-they have more books in their Bible than other religions. (I was raised Baptist, but went to a Catholic high school.)
Okay, so the Mormons have a whole extra book to go along with theirs, but hello, magic salamander anyone? That just takes all credibility.

4:30 PM  

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