Random Thought

I have been heavily into the World Cup this year and have managed to see at least a few minutes of most of the games. Yes, because I am a soccer fag. Feel better now? Good, let's continue. I was watching two days ago while lifting weights in the morning, (not so much of a soccer fag now am I tough guy?), and Switzerland was playing Togo. Now most Americans have such vast geographic knowledge that they'd be challenged to find their own ass with both hands and a road map, but I happen to know that Togo is a wafer thin, (extra credit to all those now singgering at "wafer thin"), country on the west coast of Africa. At one point ESPN2 runs a graphic saying that Switzerland is wearing red shirts and Togo is wearing green shirts. And I'm wondering if anyone watching is going "I'd really enjoy this game more if I could only tell the difference between the Swiss and the Togo teams! Won't someone run a graphic that allows me to tell which team is which? Oh, Lord, why won't someone tell me what color uniform is worn by the 11 blonde, white guys who haven't seen the sun in months, and which is worn by the 11 black guys who average about 6'6?" Just once I want to see a graphic that says something like, "The United States soccer team are the 11 guys who look like they're running in cement, and the Brazilians are the 11 guys running through them like Mack trucks on a puppy farm." Just once.

Please note, that Mack trucks line is not original to me. I lifted it from a book called, I think "Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up", by an author I cannot recall. It's an older book, but if you can find it, and if you went to Catholic school, you'll laugh your ass off.