Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Random Thought

I have been heavily into the World Cup this year and have managed to see at least a few minutes of most of the games. Yes, because I am a soccer fag. Feel better now? Good, let's continue. I was watching two days ago while lifting weights in the morning, (not so much of a soccer fag now am I tough guy?), and Switzerland was playing Togo. Now most Americans have such vast geographic knowledge that they'd be challenged to find their own ass with both hands and a road map, but I happen to know that Togo is a wafer thin, (extra credit to all those now singgering at "wafer thin"), country on the west coast of Africa. At one point ESPN2 runs a graphic saying that Switzerland is wearing red shirts and Togo is wearing green shirts. And I'm wondering if anyone watching is going "I'd really enjoy this game more if I could only tell the difference between the Swiss and the Togo teams! Won't someone run a graphic that allows me to tell which team is which? Oh, Lord, why won't someone tell me what color uniform is worn by the 11 blonde, white guys who haven't seen the sun in months, and which is worn by the 11 black guys who average about 6'6?" Just once I want to see a graphic that says something like, "The United States soccer team are the 11 guys who look like they're running in cement, and the Brazilians are the 11 guys running through them like Mack trucks on a puppy farm." Just once.

Please note, that Mack trucks line is not original to me. I lifted it from a book called, I think "Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up", by an author I cannot recall. It's an older book, but if you can find it, and if you went to Catholic school, you'll laugh your ass off.

11 Comments:

Blogger eclectic said...

Heh. You said "soccer fag."

10:11 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

OMG! My Brother and I would pause and rewind that scene in that movie over and over and OVER again.

"Oh sir... it's only wafer thin."

We were pretty young and mistakenly thought the guy's name was "Mr. Crabtree" and STILL call him that today (even though we know what his real name is thanks to the wonders of "Google").

Soccer is one of the few sports that I can honestly sit down, watch and totally get into. I played for many, many years and would have continued in college had my spastic lungs not decided to give out in the Southern California smog.

*sigh*

If my fat ass could play today, I'd try to find an adult team now that I'm back in Northern CA...or perhaps a handicapped team as that's about my level now.

10:34 AM  
Blogger CP said...

Patent leather shoes do NOT reflect up. As the only Jew girl in history to have gone to catholic school, I have first hand knowledge of this...although the black shoes DO reflect white panties when angled properly.

Just sayin'.

CP.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

Hehe, I think I bought one of these for TLF before he even turned three.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

Yeah, ESPN doesn't exactly hire the brightest bunch.

11:10 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Syd, don't taunt me with that ad. It's sold out.

I love Mr. Creosote.

"How are you feeling Sir?"

"Better"

"Excuse me?"

"Better get a bucket" RAAAAALLLPPPPHHHHHH!!!!

11:34 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

heh! Yeah, we need those ESPN2 guys to help us out.....

4:22 PM  
Blogger Madame D said...

I actually DO know where Togo is, and wow, I'm so glad that someone was there to tell us the color difference.
It's things like this that tell us how crappy the education system really is.

And, for the record, my patent leather shoes NEVER reflected my panties. If they had, I might have gotten more play in high school.

9:44 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

"Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up"

Ummm.... okey dokey. You are a worry.

xxx

3:58 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Next time post a picture of you lifting said weights while watching the World cup.

6:09 AM  
Blogger miss_lissa said...

How I love your descriptives of the American and Brazilian teams haha

12:29 PM  

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