Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Who Else Is Hungry?

I was reading News of the Weird in our fine local alternative paper, (because I hadn't gotten to the part in the back where I can call pre-op tranvestities, OK?), and came across an entry describing some of the finest delicacies the South has to offer. You can get both of these at an establishment in Decatur, GA called Mulligan's. One is a hamdog, a half-pound of burger meat wrapped around a hot dog, then deep fried, stuffed into a hoagie and served topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg. The second is "The Luther" which is little more than a half-pound bacon cheeseburger, but served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I can't think of anything that says "I just don't care anymore" than ordering one of those.

But it does remind me of a friend of mine's wedding on Long Island. Stereotypes abounded, and let's just leave it at that. The morning of the nuptials, in what was probably a subconcious attempt to kill the groom and save him from himself, we went to a local establishment and ordered the special for breakfast. It consisted of three scrambled eggs, three pieces of bacon, a slab, (in every sense of the word) o' ham, topped with cheese and served on a large grinder roll.

Sadly, the groom lived and went through with the ceremony, which was just lovely. Everyone had a good time, especially the groom's younger sister, who my wife taught how to smoke, and his middle sister, who I smuggled out of the ceremony early so she and her boyfriend could have sex. Hey, someone in the groom's family needed to get laid that night.

Come to think of it, if anyone's looking for me I'll be at Mulligan's. I'm totally going to hell anyway.

16 Comments:

Blogger Pud said...

That cheeseburger served on Krispy Kreme donuts just sounds disgusting. But I guess if the way you want to die is by heart attack, then that is the meal for you.

3:53 PM  
Blogger little sister said...

Pud is right.

I'm totally shocked, though, that those things aren't sold at the Indiana State Fair. They have deep-fried Snickers(R) bars, so why not a bacon-cheese on a Krispy Kreme? There's got to be way to deep fry that....

3:56 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Aack! ***hurling***

10:53 PM  
Blogger Madame D said...

I think my vascular system just fainted.
And, deep fried snickers bars?
Holy crap.

5:27 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

My weakness is Elephant Ears at carnivals. I figure once or twice a year can't do too much damage.

5:45 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

My god, my arteries hardened just reading this post. It does amaze me what people will eat. Have you ever eaten at a Biscuit World? They're rather popular through the south. I've only eaten there once but still recall that the menu said shit like "3 eggs, hashbrowns, meat" or "2 flapjacks with meat" But they never said what the meat was or listed different types of meat. I ordered coffee.

7:04 AM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

I don't even know what a Krispy Kreme is!

Sorry Limpy.

I like the groom story though.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Jesus Toast said...

YOu should start up a part time business that facilitates helping people sneak off from weddings and get laid, and then smuggles them back in without anyone noticing.

I'm sure theres a market for this.

8:11 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I totally want a deep fried Snickers bar right now.

I'm going to look into that smuggling career Toast. I think if I can get a monopoly of coat room keys I'll be off to a good start.

Monk, what the hell is an elephant ear?

JDR: Krispy Kreme is a really tasty doughnut, especially when served hot. I can't see it doing much for a bacon cheeseburger.

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to finish my lunch of chicken ceaser salad and yogurt. mmmmmm.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Mmmmmm, Hamdog. I have no plans to go to Georgia however I have just made plans to get out my deep fryer. I may leave off the fried egg but the rest of it sounds dreamy.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

You can get elephant ears at carnivals...they're doughy treats with lot's of sugar and cinnamon. Here's a pic if this link works.

http://www.soulincode.com/images/mmm_greasy_elephant_ear.jpg

12:20 PM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

ok that didn't work...let's try some html...

Elephant Ears

12:26 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

We call that "fried dough" out here. Original aren't we?

6:23 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Heh! I go to Decatur when I visit Atlanta. I'll have to go and take a picture next time I'm there. ;-)

7:59 PM  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Just thinking about it makes my tummy ache.

Ew!

9:51 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I think I'll skip Mulligans--and the food there.

10:27 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home