Who Else Is Hungry?

I was reading News of the Weird in our fine local alternative paper, (because I hadn't gotten to the part in the back where I can call pre-op tranvestities, OK?), and came across an entry describing some of the finest delicacies the South has to offer. You can get both of these at an establishment in Decatur, GA called Mulligan's. One is a hamdog, a half-pound of burger meat wrapped around a hot dog, then deep fried, stuffed into a hoagie and served topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg. The second is "The Luther" which is little more than a half-pound bacon cheeseburger, but served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I can't think of anything that says "I just don't care anymore" than ordering one of those.

But it does remind me of a friend of mine's wedding on Long Island. Stereotypes abounded, and let's just leave it at that. The morning of the nuptials, in what was probably a subconcious attempt to kill the groom and save him from himself, we went to a local establishment and ordered the special for breakfast. It consisted of three scrambled eggs, three pieces of bacon, a slab, (in every sense of the word) o' ham, topped with cheese and served on a large grinder roll.

Sadly, the groom lived and went through with the ceremony, which was just lovely. Everyone had a good time, especially the groom's younger sister, who my wife taught how to smoke, and his middle sister, who I smuggled out of the ceremony early so she and her boyfriend could have sex. Hey, someone in the groom's family needed to get laid that night.

Come to think of it, if anyone's looking for me I'll be at Mulligan's. I'm totally going to hell anyway.