Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's That Time Of Year

More on baseball. Granted I don't spend a lot of time on sports here, but I am a sports nut and I do follow baseball with the sort of fanaticism usually exhibited by Mormon missionaries faced with a hard-drinking atheist. So we're going to discuss more baseball today. Specifically Little League baseball.

As you know if you've been reading over the last few months, (at one point I predicted this blog would die a little noticed death within three months. We're clearly living on borrowed time here), I coach Little League ball and my son is a pretty good player. But I draw the line at the Little League World Series. At one time there was nothing wrong with it and I'd probbaly hope my kid would have a chance to play in it at some point. But now I don't think I'd let him. You might ask why. Or you might have gotten bored and wandered off by now. On the chance you haven't, I will say that the reason I probably wouldn't let my son play on a World Series oriented team is that I see no reason for kids that young to play baseball games that are televised across the world. There are limits ESPN, try to recognize them. No kid needs that kind of pressure.

But if there ever was a kid who could handle that kind of pressure it would be the kid from Saudi Arabia who stands 6'8" and weighs 255 lbs. At age 13. Surprisingly, his favorite sport is basketball. Can't imagine why. If I were the coach of the opposing team, my pitchers would be instructed to throw four pitches in the dirt every time he got up. Not because I'd be afraid he'd hit a home run, but because I'd be afraid he'd hit a line-drive right at one of my players, and then we'd have to stop the game and bury that kid's corpse right there in the infield. And that's a real morale killer.

But here's my favorite Little League story from this year's version. Apparently a couple of nights ago the team from New York is coming from behind and has pulled within one run. ESPN, in their infinite wisdom, actually has live microphones on the coaches, because, really, what could a 13 year old say that would possibly be offensive to anyone? So the coach is giving some "win one for the Gipper" speech and one of his charges pipes up with "Yeah, c'mon guys we just need one fucking run!!" The coach apparently slapped him for it. I hope it was his own kid. Good times I tell you. Good times.

8 Comments:

Blogger Phollower said...

Looking for hard-drinking atheists huh? Pick me, pick me!
I love the Little League World Series. Then again, I don't have any kids so it's easy to allow other people's children to deal with the pressure. C'mon Billy, we just need one fuckin' run you little bastard. Don't make me slap you. Again.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

I guess some parents just live vicariously thru their kids that the poor kid thinks, "If I screw up, I won't be loved". That is what that World Series Little League says to me.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Getting slapped for speaking the truth is just wrong! *LOL*

8:52 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Little League and I are currently on the outs. Thankfully, my son plays football in the Fall. And to think before this year, I actually thought football was dangerous and baseball was safe. Ha! Some things are more frightening than the potential for physical harm, I guess.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Don't even think about shutting down this blog!

Don't watch sports, don't play sports, neither do my kids. Unless video game sports count. Whenever I hear about the Little League World series I always think about that episode of South Park, where the boys were sick of playing so they tried to lose intentionally to end the season. So was every other team they played.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Pick me, pick me. I'm a hard-drinking atheist too, and I'm a lot hotter than phollower. Sorry phollower, I'm just saying.

As for little league, if my fucking kids ever spoke like that to an adult, I would cettainly hope that someone would bitch slap them. Where the fuck do kids learn this sort of shit?

Now, if you want to watch something really entertaining they should broadcast coed recreational softball.

10:29 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Is THAT why all the Mormon missionaries are so *into* me? Hmm, and I just thought it was because I was "hott".

*snort*

I just wonder if the Coach hadn't been mic'd, would he have slapped the kid or not?!?! Probably not. He probably would have been the one dropping the f-bomb himself.

10:42 AM  
Blogger jmeped said...

I'd a slapped the little fucker too. Speak when spoken to, bastard. I'm just kidding. No one should hit their kid, at least where people can see them.

10:10 AM  

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