Last Night
I killed a raccoon with a shovel.
Are you awake now?
Yep, it was not a particularly good night. It acually started in the wee small hours of the morning when I came home from the weekly poker game, only to b informed by my unusually wide awake wife that our daughter had a fever. Which naturally meant that one of us would have it by the morning.
I won.
But it wasn't bad enough to bail out of work, especially as I had to go to court to wrap up a case that had been pending for a few years. Jarndyce & Jarndyce for you Dickens fans out there. All one of you.
So I stagger through the day but finally give up and go home a couple of hours early. The kids, (daughter being fully recovered) and wife leave to go to the local pool for family fun night. I sleep on the couch. On their return, wife informs me that she has to drive back up the strett becuase she hit something and isn't sure it's dead. Turns out it was a raccoon, and indeed, it wasn't dead, but judging from the carnage, it wouldn't be recovering either. Now, my wife obviously has a soft spot for animals, (as evidenced by her agreeing to marry yours truly), and could not bring herself to do the right thing and run it over a second time, just ending the prolonged process. So I had to go up with her and do it with a shovel. That was not fun.
I hope the furry little bastard is in a better place, full of open garbage cans and loose fruit, and no roads anywhere.
Now here's the odd part. I walked the 100 yards or so home, since I wasn't really keen on putting the shovel back in the car. It's dark out, and a car drives by me, dressed in dark sweats and carrying a shovel over my shoulder. The car slows, the driver looks me over, then accelerates away. I suspect that the police got a call later that night about a grave robber wandering the streets.
Are you awake now?
Yep, it was not a particularly good night. It acually started in the wee small hours of the morning when I came home from the weekly poker game, only to b informed by my unusually wide awake wife that our daughter had a fever. Which naturally meant that one of us would have it by the morning.
I won.
But it wasn't bad enough to bail out of work, especially as I had to go to court to wrap up a case that had been pending for a few years. Jarndyce & Jarndyce for you Dickens fans out there. All one of you.
So I stagger through the day but finally give up and go home a couple of hours early. The kids, (daughter being fully recovered) and wife leave to go to the local pool for family fun night. I sleep on the couch. On their return, wife informs me that she has to drive back up the strett becuase she hit something and isn't sure it's dead. Turns out it was a raccoon, and indeed, it wasn't dead, but judging from the carnage, it wouldn't be recovering either. Now, my wife obviously has a soft spot for animals, (as evidenced by her agreeing to marry yours truly), and could not bring herself to do the right thing and run it over a second time, just ending the prolonged process. So I had to go up with her and do it with a shovel. That was not fun.
I hope the furry little bastard is in a better place, full of open garbage cans and loose fruit, and no roads anywhere.
Now here's the odd part. I walked the 100 yards or so home, since I wasn't really keen on putting the shovel back in the car. It's dark out, and a car drives by me, dressed in dark sweats and carrying a shovel over my shoulder. The car slows, the driver looks me over, then accelerates away. I suspect that the police got a call later that night about a grave robber wandering the streets.
posted by limpy99 at 8:06 AM
6 Comments:
And now, some poor bastard is going to be arrested.
You will probably be the one to have to defend him.
You will be haunted by raccoons for the rest of your life.
CP.
Crying over here. Poor thing! (you not the raccoon)
They're not calling the police, they're putting their house up for sale to get away from the obviously homicidal maniac walking about with a bloody shovel.
Your life is a sitcom buddy.
Ugh!
A squirrel got hit by the van in front of me today...it made it across one lane, freaked, and ran under his wheels. Escaped the front ones, but couldn't run fast enough to keep ahead of the back ones.
And then I twitched the rest of the drive home. I HATE dead things.
i see dead squirrels...
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