Tuesday, September 19, 2006

These Are The People I Work With

I work in an office building with many tenants. Apparently some of us are having trouble figuring out how to use the bathroom. This morning we received this notice.

"To All Restroom Patrons:

At your request, building management has expended a great deal of time, effort and money researching, purchasing and installing the most user friendly product dispensers for your convenience and to ensure a full supply of product at all times. Your cooperation, however, is needed to optimize the rest room experience.

1) Kindly FINISH the open side of the toilet paper dispenser first. Do not force the door back across the partial roll in order to access the full role prematurely – this locks up the door mechanism and makes it impossible to restock for your convenience.

2) Please exercise restraint when pulling the paper towel sheets. Forcibly yanking the sheets damages the mechanism and makes the next towel inaccessible to your fellow tenants. Also, please do not force open the dispenser to remove towel(s) for your personal or office use.

3) As a courtesy to those who follow you, kindly:
• leave the restroom in the condition you wish to find it when you enter
• Use the trash receptacle
• Flush the toilet"

I wasn't aware that we had a 3rd grade class somewhere in the building, but it looks like we do. "Flush the toilet"? Christ, who can't do that?

Makes working at home just that much more desirable. At least then you know who's pissing on the seat.


Blogger Pud said...

That's too funny! Some people have bad home training and don't know how to take care of their "personal business" while away from home. When I was in boot camp for the Navy our Chief took us on "an educational tour" of the restroom to show us how to flush the toilet and announced "The Navy is footing the water bill, so flush it as many times as it takes to get it down".

Sounds like the building maintenance needs to take all of it's tenants on a tour of the restrooms to demonstrate "proper cleanliness".

11:03 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Heh! Reminds me of a DHR facility where I do DNA collections. They have a sign that reminds the employees to "dispose of their feminine hygiene products in an appropriate manner".
These are adult, professional women.... but apparently someone forgot what to do with a used tampon.

they also found...
on the wall in the bathroom one time.

After that....I've never used that bathroom again.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

It's signs like that that make me want to take a huge diarrhea dump and then wipe my ass with a whole buttload of papertowels while simultaneously forcing every double roll toiletpaper dispenser to the opposite side and not flushing.

Of course it's people like me that make management write up signs like those.

1:57 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

HAH! In the ladies room at my work, people think it's ok to skip the tampon/pad emptying garbage and just leave their slimy stuff on the back of the toliets. AND THESE ARE THE SAME NASTY WOMEN THAT DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS WHEN THEY WALK PAST U AND THE SINK.

Go figure.
See, it could ALWAYS be worse ;)

1:57 PM  
Blogger O_Soozie_Q said...

I'm thinking of posting a similar sign in our bathroom at the store. Yes it's just the Hubs and me at work, why do you ask?


3:52 PM  
Blogger miss_lissa said...

The dude yanking on the paper towel, jammin up the TP and leaving water all over the sink is probably the one who can't flush.

That note sounds like someone is using restraint from saying:
look you dumb shits didn't your mother ever teach you to use the toilet?

haha! love it!!

5:03 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

The janitorial staff sent out an email to the guys in our office about kicking the urinal to flush it. ?

6:22 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

I tried digging a cat hole to bury my poop like I do when I'm hiking but the boss didn't appreciate the damage to the tiles. Now I just shit in the sink and blame the new guy.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

When I was in the 3rd grade, my (female) teacher would enter the restroom with us boys. I never really got over the trauma. That that sort of potty room scrutinizing goes on for adults in your building is absurd.

9:21 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...


***dancing / chanting, "I'm self-employed! I'm self-employed!***

10:47 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

regarding maggie's comment...i use my foot to flush too, it's a proven fact that the handle is a lot less sanitary than the seat...which i barely put my ass on.

just think about it. thats all.

5:17 PM  

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