Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

It turns out that I did not get my daughter's fever. Nope, what I had was Lyme Disease, or some kind of variation that sounds like "ichyosis." Yesterday when the fever came back and topped 103, I decided it was time to go to the ER and get poked and prodded and hopefully get some really good drugs. I was succesful in all three ventures, incluing the first two when the doctor rapped on my head with his knuckles and asked if it hurt.

"Yeah, it does. C'mere, I wanna see if it hurts when I do it to you" is what I didn't say, becuase there are certain limits to the samrtass comments you'll want to make to the guy who's going to decide exactly how many needles you'll experience over the next few hours. For the record it was three, plus a urine test and three chest x-rays.

For the x-rays they rolled the bed about 50 yards to the x-ray room. I told them I could walk but they wouldn't let me out of bed. This is what happens when you tell medical people you're an attorney. They did let me stand up all by my big self for the actual x-rays though.

As the day progresses I'm laying around getting something from an IV bag, (I still don't know what but I'm reasonably sure it wasn't morphine), when my wife comes running in. She's a medical assistant for an office assoicated with the hospital, and apparently she's been pulling up my test results on their computer all morning. So before the doctor comes in I know my x-rays are clean, it looks like I have Lyme, and my urine shows that I'm dehydrated. Actually, the IV kind of gave me that idea. So then the doctor comes in and says "Your x-rays are clean, you have either Lyme or Ichyosis, and they're treated the same way, and you're dehydrated" Then he gives me a prescription and tells me to saty out of work for four days.

Now that's what I'm talking about. I respond pretty quickly to antibiotics, (right now I feel great(er), except for a pisser of a headache and I still have a slight fever), and I'm thinking I'll have at least two full days to paint the house.

So later in the afternoon my wife walks in and says "did you read the side effects list on this stuff?"

Of course I didn't.

"You can't be in the sun while you take it, (10 days), or else you'll break out into a horrible rash and get sick"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

15 Comments:

Blogger Motor City Monk said...

You mean to tell me you didn't get your prostate checked? What the fuck kinda doctor you going to?

Sheeeeesh.



(Sorry if this comment sounds gay to those who don't visit my blog - I swear I'm not gay, you can even ask Arcturus.)

9:07 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:08 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Sure I did, but that was just for fun.

9:23 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Your comment screen is all douched up. Seriously.

I'm jealous of your 4 days off. Do you think you could lick something and send it to me so that I could lick it?

Get better soon buddy!

10:30 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Yeah, I know, it puts everything out twice. As soon as I find the tick that bit me, I'm sending him to you Nonny.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

Oh, man. Really sorry to hear you're down for a while Limpster.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Sorry that you're sick. Hope that you're feeling better.

So, are you now Lyme Limpy. Or Limpy With Lyme?

7:39 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Recover in the house—you don’t need to risk the rash. And remember to snuggle with the dog!

9:47 PM  
Blogger miss_lissa said...

hmmm, without goin for the whole pervy bush comment. Seriously- you crawlin around cedars or somethin?
That sucks.

I had a tick crawl into my scalp once after a hike... I won't tell you how it was removed but it hurt.

sucks ass bout the lime disease though & the house painting will get done in due time.

10:22 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Lyme disease!?! Wow! That tick must have found you tasty.

1:37 AM  
Blogger jmeped said...

Well now at least you have a good excuse for not painting the house. When your wife starts in, and you know she will, remind her I had lyme disease!

12:41 PM  
Blogger Brad the Gorilla said...

People rave about nature, but then they forget about ticks and poison ivy. Forget the jungles! I'm a city gorilla.

Get better soon, old chap.

11:20 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Well, there are, um... other things you can do during four days off WITHOUT going outside, y'know.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Jeez!

How the hell did you end up with Lyme disease?!?

Hope you're feeling better! :)

10:00 PM  

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