Thursday, October 12, 2006

Can You Say "Self-Esteem"?

Becase Amanda can't. last night I was watching a plastic surgery show on TLC. Amanda was an absolutely stunning young woman, (who shockingly was working as a waitress until she could become an actress), (I know, in Beverly Hills! What are the odds?), who was in to have a boob job redone. She wanted it redone becuase when she laid down they fell to the sides and looked weird, and she was hoping to get that oh-so-natural look when she laid down of two tits that don't move and stand straight up. That fools everyone. Now other than her fake boobs, Amanda is, for the moment, all natural. (By the end of the show she would fill her lips full of collagen, which was completely unnecessary but which did allow me to make crude comments about what I'd like to fill her lips with. At least until my wife punched me). And she's gorgeous. But she's also an idiot. Here's why. She feels that her waist isn't even in the way it scurves on both sides. Clearly, she's not only spending WAY too much time looking at herself in the mirror, (although if I were her I'd probably spend six hours a day jumping rope naked in front of that same mirror), she's also got the same visaul acuity as Helen Keller, because there's nothing wrong with her waist, except that it isn't pressed against mine. Her solution t her perceived problem? She wants to have a rib removed from the "fat" side to even things out. Dr. Frankenstein, who seems like a nice enough guy, politely tells her that she's out of her fucking mind and nukes the idea, although as the show moved on he did move her boobs from the sides to the center, but unfortunately we never got to see her lying on her back so I don't know if they ever stood at attention, but Amanda did seem much happier at the end of the show, posing for some biker magazine while straddling a motorcycle and giggling over how all the guys thought she was hot.

And I bet they were all thinking "I'd totally do that chick if she only had one less rib"

11 Comments:

Blogger Phollower said...

Mmmm, ribs. I have a feeling I was supposed to get something else out of your post but I mostly just got hungry. Go figure.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Tai said...

Geez...where's all the money to get those ridiculous 'improvements' coming from, that's what I want to know!

I guess I feel sorry for her and her lack of self-esteem.
On the OTHER hand, despite having a poor self image it seems to me that intelligent people can usually see through the bullshit that is "society" and it's foolish notions that all women and men MUST adhere to it's standards.

So not only does she suffer from poor self image, she's dumb too.
(OOOh, I'm in a mood today!)

12:35 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

How is she able to afford all this crap as a waitress? Yeah she may now look "better", but does that mean she can act? Some people's kids!

1:16 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Poor beautiful thing... I'm sure she could be a star if only she didn't have that fat rib.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

That post could also be titled, "Why Amanda Is Going To Hell".

What a dumbass.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Madame D said...

That is such a tragedy. That now, poor Amanda will have to go through life with a "fat" side.
I think I'm about to tear up.

Now, I want to go stand in front of the mirror and figure out which is MY fat side.
I think the correct answer is "all of them".

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually know an "Amanda". This woman is drop dead gorgeous....I mean GORGEOUS. She's not all natural (fake boobs, had her teeth done and some other stuff) but besides all that she just has it ALL going for her (looks wise, that is).

I just found out today that she had lipo to remove her "saddle bags". She's an inch taller than I am (so that makes her 5' 8" tall) and weighs about 115 lbs. I won't say how much less she weighs than me though. GAH! Let's just say that she doesn't have saddle bags.

I think the Dr. who took her $4,700 just knocked her out and stared at her PERFECT naked body on the table and then punched her thighs a couple times to make them sore.

I just don't get self esteem issues like those...I mean my self esteem issues stem from the fact that I'm fat and ugly, but at least it's not a false perception on my part ;-)

4:05 PM  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

OMG...I had no idea they were taping that!
How did my hair look?

*snort*
;oP

7:55 PM  
Blogger Clay Bethelbridge said...

Whoooooooooooahhhh. hello. I will reespect your line. I am honest. If you see my blog you will know that.

9:16 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Gee, um thanks Clay. I always respect a person who respects my line.

A friend of mine whose wife has had a boob job informs me that the going rate is about $4,500. For the pair. I guess you could spend $2,250 for one at a time if you needed an installment plan.

Soozie, having seen your pictues, you are neither fat nor ugly. Don't tell the Hubs I said that; he looks bigger than me.

Momentarily, your hair looked fine, but at least three of your ribs were sticking out way too far.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

I'm wondering if Clay had a boob job???

I will not be visiting his wonderful blog to find out.

6:12 AM  

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