Can You Say "Self-Esteem"?

Becase Amanda can't. last night I was watching a plastic surgery show on TLC. Amanda was an absolutely stunning young woman, (who shockingly was working as a waitress until she could become an actress), (I know, in Beverly Hills! What are the odds?), who was in to have a boob job redone. She wanted it redone becuase when she laid down they fell to the sides and looked weird, and she was hoping to get that oh-so-natural look when she laid down of two tits that don't move and stand straight up. That fools everyone. Now other than her fake boobs, Amanda is, for the moment, all natural. (By the end of the show she would fill her lips full of collagen, which was completely unnecessary but which did allow me to make crude comments about what I'd like to fill her lips with. At least until my wife punched me). And she's gorgeous. But she's also an idiot. Here's why. She feels that her waist isn't even in the way it scurves on both sides. Clearly, she's not only spending WAY too much time looking at herself in the mirror, (although if I were her I'd probably spend six hours a day jumping rope naked in front of that same mirror), she's also got the same visaul acuity as Helen Keller, because there's nothing wrong with her waist, except that it isn't pressed against mine. Her solution t her perceived problem? She wants to have a rib removed from the "fat" side to even things out. Dr. Frankenstein, who seems like a nice enough guy, politely tells her that she's out of her fucking mind and nukes the idea, although as the show moved on he did move her boobs from the sides to the center, but unfortunately we never got to see her lying on her back so I don't know if they ever stood at attention, but Amanda did seem much happier at the end of the show, posing for some biker magazine while straddling a motorcycle and giggling over how all the guys thought she was hot.

And I bet they were all thinking "I'd totally do that chick if she only had one less rib"