Monday, October 16, 2006

Tits and Tattoos

Tattos seem to be a recurring theme here, but there's adifferent point to this. Which we'll get to in a few minutes. Eclectic wouldn't give me any tips on where to find dragons for my planned second inking, unless I told where I was getting it. Fair enough. Right leg, down the calf. So now if any of you find a body with no identification other than a dragon on a ruined pillar, possibly Doric, maybe Corinthian, you'll know it was me and you can go quietly about your business, no doubt taking no other action other than to delete this blog from your links.

On to tits and tattoos. last night, on the recommendation of Zoe and Phollower and some others, I went to see The Suicide Girls Burlesque Show. And I took my wife, whose musical tastes run to Pink Floyd, ABBA, and some wretched Finnish group I can never remember. When we arrived at the venue, a former theater in a run-down section of Hartford, our luck is at a high level. We walk in and ask a guy where we can buy tickets, becuase there's no one in the window. He says "I have two passes, give me $10 and they're yours" I gave him $10, he gets us in, and I'm up about $40 on the night. Score!

Now we walk in and see one of the opening acts. And the luck train goes off the tracks, off the bridge, into the gully, bursts into flames, and all are killed.

Let me say this. If any of you are ever unfortuante enough to be in a venue where a Hartford based musical act called Base 2 is playing, find an exit. If you cannot find an exit, kill yourself. They were awful. And they wouldn't get off the stage. They kept indicating they were on the last song, then they'd mention the Suicide Girls, then they'd either play another song or else the first one never ended. I couldn't tell, because it all sounded alike. The one good thing from this act was I got to lean over to my wife and say "Y'know, the fiddle really is an underutilized instrument in punk rock" It could have been a violin, I don't know. They also had an emcee who, after they finally got off the stage, got up and yelled at the crowd for not going nuts for a hard-working local act. Emcee A-Hole apparently didn;t realize that none of us were there to see them, and that while I like local acts as much as the next guy, if they suck, they suck.

And then came the Japanese girls. Tsu Shi Ma Mi Re. I don't know what this means, but I can guess. My guess is "Paint Peeling Caterwauling That would Scare the Unholy Bejesus Out of Godzilla Himself." Seriously, if I had known about these chicks earlier in the spring I would have hired them to perform outside my house, hit a couple of high notes, and knock all the loose paint off. Would have saved a ton of time. Honest to Christ, at least twice I ducked my head in pain when they went to the higher levels. I'm pretty sure the guitarist is insane and doesn't really know how to play her instrument. None of them can sing at all, and in fact it's so bad it will hurt you, and despite that, I would probably go to see them again, (but with earplugs), becasue the show is just so insane. Three Japanese chicks dressed in schoolmarm type gingham, thrashing around like Angus Young on crack. The bassist alone was worth the price of admission. Assuming, of course, that I had actually paid the price of admission. I couldn't take my eyes off the stage. In short, the music sucked, but the antics were worth watching.

And then the Sucide Girls took the stage. If you haven't seen the show, find a schedule and go see it. One of the girls introduced the show by yelling "Are you ready for tits and tattoos", (hence the clever title above), which is almost the same motto as the hideous new strip bar that opened near my house, ("near" meaning 8 miles or so)(beggars can't be choosers), which is, "are you ready for tits and mearly healed bullet wounds?" The answer to that question, incidentally, should always be "No" Trust me on that.

I can't explain the show, except that there was a lot of near nudity, a lot of tattoos, some clever skits, including one that gives me a whole new take on Napoleon Dynamite, and my wife has asked for a hula hoop for Christmas. And by god I'll be buying her one!

Anyway, good referral from Zoe, Phollower and Co., and if you're in the mood for something completely different and insane, check that show out. But bring ear plugs.

8 Comments:

Blogger Nonny said...

That's a lot of show for $10 bucks pal. Even if 2/3 of it sucked. What exactly is "near nudity". Sheer clothing or what?

12:02 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Very descriptive review. My eardrums hurt just reading about it. And since you didn't include photos of any of the antics or nudity, I have nothing to justify my ear pain. However, I like calf tatts, so I shall now commence locating the perfect dragon.

2:17 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Near nudity = pasties and thongs.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

Mmmmm...pasties 'n thongs.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Tits and tattoos, I think that covers it, or at least that's about all I can get out before my brain drifts off into a nice little Regan fantasy.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

You actually found talent in Connecticut?

5:30 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

It actually sounds like the talent found Connecticut.

Didn't like Tsu Shi Ma Mi Re so much huh? Man, I love those chicks. Their show is awesome but I love the CD's too.

And is the Hula Hoop gonna be the light-up version? That was awesome.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Unbalanced said...

I'm going to their show on Nov 4th, also on Zoe's recommendation. I can't wait. Thanks for the review.

Did you wife like it?

9:18 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home