Monday, November 06, 2006

More "File Under 'No Shit'"

I saw an article today in which it is disclosed, (hold your breath now), Kevin Federline is going to write an autobiography in which he will tell us all what his life was like before he met Britny Spears and started her (back) on the road to the trailer park. Because there is a tremendous demand by the public to know what the life of a back-up dancer is like. I'm thinking there will be several chapters devoted to the best laundromats around the country for getting pit stains out, as well as helpful hints as to the best stretching exercises to engage in before vigorously shaking one's ass around the stage in an effort to distract the idiots who've paid good money to get into the concert from the fact that the artist isn't actually singing. I would think it very important to properly loosen the groin before engaging in such activity, as well as putting aside all possible moral compunctions about getting paid for it.

Another reason I prefer concerts with tickets less than $50. Those bands generally sing. And they can't afford dancers.

But the real "no shit" factor in the story is this. Federline won't be writing the book himself. "You know", he says, "I'll get a ghostwriter in there."

I'm going to apply for the job. I'm already trying to think up synonyms for "no-talent douchebag" So far I have "Federline"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Autobiography, huh?

Who in hell does this guy think he is!?!


10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is something about him that just gives me the willies. Maybe it's his butt ass ugly face?

10:43 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Why won't that fucker die already?

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That cracks me up. Nonny couldn't have said it better. The douche must die.

12:27 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

I can't get over how he really believes people give two-shits about him and his life.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

There is something so fascinatingly hideous about K-Fed, compounded by the fact that there's nothing fascinating or interesting about him. O the irony. I guess that makes him a Shakespearean character.


1:21 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...


1:34 PM  
Blogger Madame D said...

I think it's the fact that he wants SO BADLY to be taken as a "serious artist", yet he married and knocked up the Princess of Pop. *cough cough scheming bastard cough*

6:28 PM  

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