Monday, December 18, 2006

Undoing All of Syd's Good Work for the State

This weekend I had some time to myself, which isn;t easy with a wife and two kids, and was quietly reading a special edition of Sports Illustrated. I had that time to myself because I ate something I shouldn't have, (seriously, I have an issue with throwing away leftovers, and if it's in the refrigerator and not actually developing the foundations of its own civilization when I open the lid, I'll probably eat it), and was comfortably ensconced in the bathroom. Which is actually the only way I get time to read the paper or a magazine. As my brother once memorably said when his girlfriend was asking why he was less willing to commit than a gay friend of theirs was with his new boyfriend "probably because he doesn't have to hide in the john to read the sports page". Or the fashion news, he said, making the obligatory gay joke.

But I digress.

This edition of SI was a special one, a compilation of all sorts of past entires they've had in their "Faces in the Crowd" section over the last 50 years. If you don't get SI, or just smoke a lot of pot and can't recall what you've read from one minute to the next, (note I don't condone that sort of behavior, but if you've got any, help a brother out eh?), that section is usually a list of 4-5 people from the ordinary sports world, with a small blurb about some extraordinary accomplishment they've achieved. Usually it's a high school kid breaking a state record, or some older guy breaking an age group record. For example, some 93 year-old broke the age group record for the 100-yard "dash", (running your age?), breaking the tape in some 51 seconds. I could totally kick his ass.

But also in this magazine was a section for unusual accomplishments highlighted in the past. While I am not sure this is still the case, at one point a few years back a Mississippi resident held the record for, (gives Syd a moment to smash head into desk)

tobacco spitting. I don't recall his name right this second, but he was quoted as saying that the ability to spit baccy, (I think he went about 20', for those who care), wasn't learned. "You're either born with it or you ain't" And I thought t"hat would make a great addition to the Missippi T-shirts Syd highlighted last week!"

You can see them too after Syd provides the link that I'd just fuck up if I tried it.


Blogger Pud said...

Spitting Baccy is a sport!?! Is that shown on ESPN the Ocho or something?

10:11 AM  
Blogger Motor City Monk said...

I thought you were referring to the swimsuit edition.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Okay, so NOW you're going to hell.


12:14 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I usually need alone time for the swimsuit edition too.

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going to guess that they show the "baccy spittin'" Championships on Spike TV. It just doesn't seem to have the makings for Lifetime TV programming.


1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummmm, I smoke pot and remember what I've read. I've got skills man.

I had some alone time in the bathroom last night...@ like 3:30am for an hour-not a pleasant evening...stupid corn!

5:03 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Bathrooms are important rooms not only for their necessary function, but because in many houses they are the only rooms that have locks on the door. Spitting baccy may become a skill for many beyond the South as the health Nazis throughout our land pass more and more laws preventing smoking. (Yeah, I still smoke baccy, although I seldom carry my pipe with me anymore; ain’t no places I can legally light it).

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, right off...All I think about when I see the name Syd is Pink Floyd. What can I say, it's a great "puff-puff-pass" band!

As far as the baccy spitting...there are a couple guys at work who "chew." Now you've got me curious, and they're probably gonna look at me like I have three heads when I ask them to compete.

7:48 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Right up there with catfish derbies and lightin' up farts in the dark. Yes world, this is America.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most of the time, the only way I can really start on a book is in the bathroom. Otherwise, there's just so much to DO in the house and outside of it. Sigh.

I just finished The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan, by the way. It's the sequel to The Lightning Thief, about a half-blood son of Poseidon and the other misbegotten children of the gods.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

That SO needs to be on a t-shirt!

12:38 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Fuck. Me.

At least it wasn't a female.

8:18 PM  

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