Wednesday, December 20, 2006

When You Put It Like That, Who Can Argue

I heard this on the radio this morning. It was an ad for an alternative weekly paper in Massachusetts called "The Phoenix". I'm not sure what this has to do with selling newspapers, but I liked the sentiment. It went something like this.

Life should be lived in reverse.

You'd start out at death's door, old and decrepit. You'd be in a nursing home, getting round the clock care and possibly wearing diapers. Not much difference than how we start out now.

Gradually you'd get younger, stronger and in better health. Eventually you'd get too healthy and young and you'd be kicked out.

You're retired, so you'd play golf all day, or read, or travel, or whatever. You'd collect a pension or social security, (wouldn't count on that), and live off that.

Then you'd go to work for the next 40 years.

You'd "retire" at 22, at or near the peak of your health and good looks. You'd spend the next several years in college and high school, drinking too much and having irresponsible sex. And it wouldn't matter because you're already done working.

Eventually you'd regress to childhood, completely innocent and with nothing more pressing to do than watch Bugs Bunny and play with toys.

You'd spend your last nine months in a warm pool, a spa environment as the ad described it, getting round the clock nourishment and waste removal through a tube.

And your last moment before you blipped out of existence would be an orgasm.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You'd spend your last nine months in a warm pool, a spa environment as the ad described it, getting round the clock nourishment and waste removal through a tube."

Ohhhhhh yaaaaaa...sounds dreamy. ;)

Steve~

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like to think that my last moment of existance would blip out with an orgasm.

12:42 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

how perfect! "blip out" with an orgasm.

I want that life. lol.

I always thought when i started working, how nice it would be to have to work last and retire first, so i could take care of my kid now. I guess things just don't always happen the way you want them too...but I'm still likin that blip! hahah

12:48 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Makes so much sense. I hate that just when we start making enough money to enjoy doing some things, our bodies are too old to cooperate.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I love that! I've heard the beginning of that ad, but never the whole thing thru... I had no idea it was so good.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Just one thought: would one retain memories of yesterday throughout this life in reverse cycle?

6:08 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

And the sign-up sheet is where?

8:47 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

At least you go out with an orgasm.

10:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The problem is, that I wouldn't know if I were coming or going.

Oh wait, I have that problem already!

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing beats the "big "O"!!!

Merry Christmas!

11:54 AM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

Merry Christmas!!!

xxx

4:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home