Punch Buggy & The Joy Of Ambush

This post was inspired by Steve Novak's tale of abusing his wife through that old "Jinx-Owe me a Coke!" game we played when we were kids and two people said the same thing at the same time. Except that Steve played it that you yelled jinx and then the other person couldn't talk until you released you jinx. And apparently I am either a) a girl, or b) gay, because I played the "owe me a Coke" version. Fortunately, I am willing to sell my masculinity for a soda pop, so I can live with that. I will not, however, sell my birthright for a mess of pottage.

Check THAT out bitches!! Biblical references!! Your key to substantive literature!!

That last line? I totally ripped it off from "Bloom County". I mean word for word. That kids, is plagiarism. Except that I properly sourced it, so we're going to call it an homage.

But I come here not to bury Caesar, but to explain the game of "Punch Buggy" to Steve. Frankly, given the contents of his blog, I can't believe he's never played this game, but he expressed confusion and so, in an effort to allow him to regress even more to 10-year-old status, (his admission), here we go.

Punch Buggy was a game I picked up in college, although apparently most kids who weren't shut-ins playing Dungeons & Dragons with their equally geeky friends all through middle and high school, (No really, Zoe, it's totally cool to play D&D as an adult though), ("Gramma, I'm an orc" STILL kills me), knew about it much before that. And they knew how to approach women. And dress. and a lot of other things, but this game is about Punch Buggy.

How long do you think I can keep rambling before I actually explain the game?

OK, here we go. The game can be played by two or more people. It can be played incars, but if so, its generally considered a good idea to immediately disqualify the driver. Sort of like Olympic bobsledding would be safer for everyone if the team from the Virgin Islands was just immediately disqualified. Nice sled colors though.

As the parties mosey along, the opportunity may arise to observe old fashioned Volkswagon Beetles. The new kind do not count. Although they might have to soon, becuase the older models are increasingly confined to third world countries like Cuba, Mexico and Alabama. (Syd puts down the gun). Upon observing such a vehicle, and making note of its color, the game is on. The first person to yell out "Punch Buggy Yellow, (or blue, red, hippie-pastel-flowers), and punch their opponent on the shoulder, wins a point. Person with the most points at the end of the trip, or the last one who can actually raise their shoulder, wins.

The two people I knew who were most enthusiastic about this game were my brother and his ex-girlfriend. One day thet stopped at our house and she was complaining because they had seen a lot of beetles on the way over and she was really sore. I knew why they were seeing so many. I took her aside, becasue if there's anything more fun than punching people in the shoulder when a car drives by, it's setting up your brother to get the crap beat out of him by a girl.

Down the street from our house was a state park. At the state park was a convention of VW Beetle enthusiasts. While walking the dog, I had noticed a field full of Beetles, all kinds of colors. First I whaled on the dog, yelling "punch buggy blue, green, red, yellow", until she bit me, then I came home. The field where the convention was being held was just beyond a small hill. In other words, you couldn't see it until you were right on top of it. I told the girl to drive down that way, and the second they topped the rise to just start yelling "Punch Buggy" followed by random colors and punch the bejesus out of my brother's shoulder.

He didn't talk to me for a week.

So there you are Steve. Punch Buggy explained. Happy hunting.