Monday, February 12, 2007

May Have Been A Bad Idea

This weekend I went to the annual ski jumping comeptition held here in CT. That's not me. I go to watch, as I am far to much of a pussy to ever willingly hurl myself off a 50' ramp wearing only skis. Mind you, the competititon included a 10 year old who managed to fly about 180' before gliding gracefully to a halt. I would probably just topple over the edge of the jump and then roll to the bottom of the hill.

While there, I purchased two cowbells. One pink, one blue. They sell them as fundraisers every year. This year I got one for the boy, one for the girl. Then I rang them while the skiers came down the jump. Allegedly this inspires them to jump farther. Frankly I think this is bullshit, as I doubt they can hear anything in those helmets, other than the rational part of what passes for their minds saying "and why did you think it was a good idea to push off the bar?" But I guess it gives the crowd something to do besides hurl snowballs at the jumpers. Which it turns out is frowned on, although I still say they're missing out on a chance to increase crowds with that rule.

When I returned hom I presented the bells to their respective recipients, with the warning that if I heard them inside the house, I would probably kill the bell holder. My daughter looks at the bell and excitedly announces "Daddy, you know what? The next time I get sick I could stay in bed and if I wanted something I could ring this for Mommy to come upstairs!"

I responded the only proper way. "Just wait until Daddy's at work, OK sweetie?"


Blogger Lil Bit said...

And she could say, "Mom! I gotta fever! And the only cure is more cowbell!"

(you know the SNL bit, right?)

Dammit, I couldn't find the right video, but this is close enough.

3:06 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

She's going to kill you!

3:57 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Oh dear. Somehow I think your wife will have ideas of how to employ that bell, ideas that may or may not include you mooing.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Good God, Limpy, you had better go get another bell and put it around your wife's neck so you can hear her sneaking up on you with the butcher knife.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

You are a dead man.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Those bells will come in handy for that teen birthday party your kids aren't gonna have!

8:00 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

Mommy might just shove that cowbell up your ass when you get home, but I like the devious advice.


8:38 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Lil Bit, I do know the SNL bit. Might've been the last funny thing they did. Walken in priceless in it.

JDR, if I'm lucky she'll just kill me.

Eclectic, no matter how long I sit here chewing my cud, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Nick, I'm trying, but she won't sit still!

Big Pissy, why should today be any different?

Rhonda, I was thinking ankle bracelets, but the bells could work too.

Rat, more likely she'll just melt them with her "Angry Mommy Heat Vision"

8:46 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

K had a bedside bell over the weekend while she was sick. By Sunday, I told her she might be "wearing" that bell before long.

8:49 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Good lord. When are the funeral services?

9:30 AM  

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