Friday, April 27, 2007

Hey Kids, It's A Meme!

I was going to do a post about the threesome my wife and I had with this teenage stripper we met last night, but then Tysgirl sent me a meme so I decided to do that instead. I'll get around to the stripper thing some other time I guess. If I remember it. Or, more accurately, if it ever actually happens in real life.

Here's the deal. Tysgirl asked five questions and I get to answer them. Preferrably honestly. Unlike that first paragraph.

Here we go. Feel free to sing along.

1. You find a genie in a bottle. What 3 things would you wish for?

a. Future success for my kids. Your kids are on their own. Get your damn lamp.
b. A huge Powerball jackpot win for me. Sure I'll probably wind up on one of those VH-1 "After the Glory" tragic dramas, but that's a risk I'm willing to take if it means I get $240 million.
c. That someone would get arrested for murdering my wife's best friend two years ago. Seriously, I'm getting kind of tired of the wait.

2. What makes you really angery?

Memes. Actually, not much makes me really angry. I lead a fairly stress-free life since I've found that not giving a shit about dumb stuff is the way to go. Sure I'll swear at the Yankees, but when the game is over I move on. But I will say that people that hurt children really piss me off.

3. When is the last time you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe & what made you laugh?

I can't recall a time that this happened. I certainly will laugh, and hard, but I don't think I've ever not been able to breathe. The first time I saw "American Pie" and the band geek girl says "One time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy" I spit most of my drink clear across the room.

4. Do you have any phobias?

No. Shit that was easy.

5. If you could have one super power, what would it be?

Oh, the eternal question. Should I go for the power of flight? The power to read men's minds? The strength of ten men because my heart is pure? Actually, I think the ship has long since sailed on that last one. I think I would ask for invulnerability. Then I could do pretty much whatever I wanted and no one would be able to do anything about it. Of course, I would only use my powers for good.

As far as you know.


Blogger Party Girl said...

I like the life philosophy of: not giving a shit. I'm all for it. except when it doesn't work and somehow life manipulates me into giving a shit. Crap. That sucks.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

I think you should pray for the power to NOT spontaneously combust with the sheer volume of bullshit you produce. :)

12:03 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

That's horrible about your wife's best friend!!! They don't have any leads? Jeez, that is beyond shitty.

2:28 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

You didn't wish for the power to undress any and as many women as you want any time at any place? Geez, it's like I hardly know you anymore.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

I'd wish for the Yankees to win one fucking game for the rest of the year. This is horse shit. Dice K blows donkey balls & we're still losing. HOW?!?!?

7:00 PM  
Blogger Sugar Smacks said...

I would wish for a threesome with a stripper and Christian Bale.


In all seriousness, I think memes are okay, but I wanna try those 55 flash fiction things Cathy turned me onto.

I'm staying tuned for your sordid tale, Limpy!

11:26 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Ummm, let it be known that Limpy VOLUNTEERED for this Meme. As much as he'd probably enjoy it, he was not tied up and forced to participate!

4:58 AM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

And here I was thinking that everyone just had a stripper locked away in their closet... never mind!


6:13 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

PG, see, that's when we turn to our good friends drugs and alcohol. I used to get all worked up about little stuff, but then I discovered drugs and alcohol. Thanks drugs and alcohol!!

Yep, this blog is kid-friendly!

Maggie, I would think invulnerability would cover methane explosions.

Soozieq, they have leads, they just have no arrests. And yes, it is beyond shitty.

Eclectic, dammit woman, where are you when I need you!?

Rat, Kei Igawa saves the day.

If you told me I'd ever write that sentence this season, well, you'd have won a lot of money.

Sugar Smacks, please clarify. Christian Bale in "The Mechanic", or Christian Bale in "Batman Begins" Because if it's the latter I think my wife is in.

Tysgirl, if I'd known that was an option...
Yes, I did volunteer for it. But Tysgirl said I had one of her five favorite blogs, and I'm a sucker for an ego-stroking. Among other things.

JDR, uhm, anything you want to tell us about your closet dear?

6:37 PM  
Blogger little sister said...

whoa - I wasn't expecting something deep like that from a meme from Limpy. Do you have a fever, dude?

on the serious side, yeah, who in the fuck killed your wife's best friend and why haven't they caught the asshole(s)?

9:16 PM  
Blogger Sugar Smacks said...

Batman or The Prestige. Definitely NOT all wasted away. We're all gonna need enough to go 'round, cuz I'm greedy for CB.

Tsk, now I've forgotten what the meme was!

10:47 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Meme-ing while tied up costs extra.

4:43 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Lil Sis, well if I knew that the problem would be solved. The delay has to do with DNA testing, that's all I know.

Sugar Smacks, there was a meme??

Tysgirl, for you or me?

8:47 AM  
Blogger Groovy Lady said...

I love the don't give a shit about the dumb stuff mentality.. I just wish I was more successful at pulling it off at times. :D

What a horrible ordeal about your wife's best friend. I hope it gets resolved soon. 2 years is entirely too long.

3:07 PM  

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