Tuesday, April 10, 2007

It's Too Early For This

Little Leage controversy rears its ugly head, and we haven't even had an initial practice yet. This year my son fell into a weird age category where he's considered 8, even though he'll be 9 before the season ends. So he will play a second year in the 7-8 farm league. This is primarily an instructional league, and he played in it last year. So he was evaluated as a 7-8 year old. He was off the charts, (because for Christ's sake he's 9!!), and therefore wasn't subject to the draft and was randomly assigned to a team managed by someone we don't know as opposed to a friend of ours. Also assigned to that team was a kid from our insanely talented team last year, Evan, who might have been the best player in the entire league. He's also 9 going on 8.

Which means that our team will have at least 2 kids who are older, bigger, more experienced, and just better than most of the league, which will consist of a large number of 7 year olds graduating from tee ball to "Oh-my-god-Evan-just-hit-a-line-drive-off-Little-Timmy's-forehead" But our local Little League Board, a group roughly on par with several dozen drunken chimpanzees arguing over the remains of a salad bar, made it clear early on that they would not move anyone up, regadless of how much better they were than anyone else in their alleged age-group. Well, you reap what you sow. This year is probably going to suck for some of the older kids, who are going to be watching their less expereinced bretheren flail about like whales on a beach, and it could be downright dangerous for some of the less experienced kids.

But the important thing is that the adults enforced the rules, so that all of the kids could have a good time. Right? right?


Blogger Party Girl said...

Yep. Absolutely. No doubt about it. It's all about the parents..err, the kids.
It's all about the kids and their fun.

Something tells me if beer was allowed it would be a lot more fun for all involved. Unless you have one of those crazy-ass parents in the league.

10:39 AM  
Blogger little sister said...

holy crap what a whack scenario!

I guess that's why I took mi hija to swim lessons, karate, tennis, acting....you know, competitve according to ability, not by age.

'cept is was quite fun when was she was 8 years old (a blue belt even), and an 11-year-old knocked the wind out of her with a roundhouse in sparring competition. She slumped a bit while pulling herself together. When she stood up, she saw everyone staring at her, so she said, "What were you expecting? You thought I was going to cry?"

The she won the match with a groin kick.

That's my kid. ;)

11:11 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

You and Zoe should start your own Baseball/Softball Blunders Blog. "Bringing the ADA to The Big Diamond"

12:02 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Geezus Crap. Bring your little man out here. For a change, we're having a blessedly apolitical season so far, though admittedly, we're only one game into it. I'll put your rockstar on my guy's 10 year old team -- our coaches are awesome, and there are two other 9 year olds on the roster anyway, so he'll fit right in.

Sorry your kid's being screwed. As a parent, I remember from last year how badly that sucks.

2:19 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

That sucks!

Far be it from the adults to teach the kids about compromise.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Rigid assholes. There's just no use for one.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

They're all probably part of HOA committees, too, right?

Let the kids have some fun!

Hope your cold is better.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Oh boy! It's time for the little league stories to start!

Those are so fun!

7:25 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

PG, I watched the "Bad News Bears" again this weekend while laid up on the couch. That scene at the end where Buttermaker rewards the kids with bottles of Schmidt's is classic. Maybe if my kids were in the 9-10 league I could get away with it, but probably not at 7-8.

Lil Sis, that's how I've taught my kids to fight. A) Don't start a fight. B) Walk away from a fight if at all possible. C) If you have no other option but to fight, then aim for the nuts and finish things as fast as possible.

So far we've never gotten as far as C.

Maggie, see, that's the sort of idea that gets people in trouble. Namely me. I am thinking of setting up a scrimmage with Zoe's softball team. If they can handle a bunch of retards, I'm sure 9 year olds would be a walk in the park right? (Oh man am I going to hell)

Eclectic, actually, my kids not getting screwed. He'll have a chance to lead the league in HRs, RBIs, and all sorts of power stats that, of course, no one officially keeps. Funny how all the kids know what the score is anyway. No, the kids getting screwed are all the new 7 year olds who have to keep up with experienced 9 year olds. I don't own one of those.

Tysgirl, or common sense. Kids shouldn't see us display that either.

Syd, uh, um, er, ah...Oh fuck it. Never mind.

Lady K, the cold is in full retreat, thanks. I'm not sure what a HOA committee is, but if it means a bunch of rigid assholes, (thanks Syd!), with little common sense and even less organizational skills, well, yes, they'd be on it.

BP, yeah, there should be some good stories this year, assuming we actually ever hear from our coach about a schedule. So far, nary a peep. I can see another bloodless coup in my future.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

What's all of this conflict within the the Little League? I coached youth soccer for 3 years and we did have 10% of the stuff you're experiencing. Although I do admit that I went from being an assistant soccer coach to being head coach when the former head coach was expelled from the program because she threw a tizzy tantrum during a game.

8:25 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Nick, I coached Little League to help a friend when I was in law school 15 years ago. There wasn't half as much adult interference then either. Some basic rules, basic safety instructions, and then we were off. I think that as adults get involved they just can't help getting more and more involved. It's like a creeping kudzu vine.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

You passed on Syd's "rigid assholes"?! You really need to adjust that cold medication.

Let me know when the scrimmage is...you know, you could really make it interesting and make Zoe's team wear far-sighted glasses.

8:50 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Actually Maggie, the problem was that there were too many responses. It was like the worst ice cream brain freeze ever.

You give me my team from last year and I get to pitch and I'll pay the game straight up. You hear that Zoe? Straight up!! Your days of terrorizing the retarded are over!!!

9:18 AM  
Blogger Groovy Lady said...

My oldest son always fell into that weird category too, having a late July birthday. The only semi-logical reason I ever heard for that rule had something to do with All-Star eligibility once the regular season is over.

Apparently the powers that reign over that end of things really enforce the age cut off dates and you have to have been a member of the appropriate league to be allowed to play. Or something like that.. who knows because here again it was adults making the rules. :D

11:42 AM  
Blogger Rhonda said...


Last year I went to my nephews ball game and two parents got in a fist fight!
Fun had by all.

Seriously though it is too bad your son has to stay in that category.

On a positive note, he'll be the best!!!
I don't think that helps much though does it?

12:53 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

I know, but he won't learn as much as he would if he were playing with other players whose skills could challenge his. Your kid has you for a parent -- and since that hasn't screwed him up, there's not much chance anything else could, anyway. ;)

1:44 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...


> I spit my water all over the place.

6:08 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Limpy: I play shortstop for Zoe's retard-abusing softball team and I've got 2 words for you and little Evian, "Bring it, bitches!"

7:47 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Zoe: Limpy lives far away, right?

7:48 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Groovy Lady, honestly, if I find out we have an All-Star team at the 7-8 year old level I may need to kill someone.

Rhonda, the trouble I see with my son is that he's real competitive, (I blame his mother), and if some younger kids screw up he will get pissed. But as you say, I have pointed out that he's probably good for three home runs a game, and next year will be a different story.

Eclectic, gee thanks. I think.

Rat, it's funny now isn't it? We'll see how funny it is when it actually happens. last year when I was pitching I knocked down one of Evan's line drives before it skulled the kid playing defensive pitcher behind me.

Phollower, I can find Indiana on a map. Which puts me ahead of about 64% of American high school students.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

It's odd, but I am reminded of craft programs (which I hate unless they're led by someone who really knows the craft) in which grownups bring their toddlers for an enriching experience, then end up doing all the crafts themselves to make them "perfect" for their kids.

Is it possible to start an "alt" Little League with a strict policy that the game is for the children, not for the adults with issues to work out?

9:31 AM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

Funny, but it doesn't matter HOW old you are when a groundball uses your shin as a backboard & leaves a nice-looking shiner behind.
I know, cuz it hap'd to me last night at softball practice. LOL!!

12:45 PM  

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