Monday, April 16, 2007


This weekend I went over 2,000 hits on my profile. And in only 15 months or so. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad, but I was impressed. It seems like a decent number for someone who never posts pictures of himself nude, although if I did that would probably drive the number down. Now that I've reached the 2,000 number maybe I should start selling T-shirts or otherwise whoring this thing out for money. But that would entail effort, and in case you haven't noticed, we're not all that big on sustained effort around here. Or quality, coherent storytelling or even decent editing.

Instead I'll just thank each and every one of you that has stopped by and made my little blogging habit such an interesting experience. (This is where you pretend like I just typed "thank you" 2,007 times. Don't tell anyone we're faking it; they'll never notice).

During the last 15 months I've learned a lot from all of you. For instance, it turns out that lesbians aren't mythical creatures like unicorns! Who knew? It turns out that someone invented a board game based on German government, and apparently it doesn't involve cutting a deal with Russia and then invading Poland. Belgian Malinois dogs are nuts, but gorgeous animals. Some people talk to their breakfast foods before drwoning them in syrup. Pink is the new black. Strippers like tequila more than I do, but not as much as I like strippers. Jewish mothers are insane. Irish people like Guinness. OK, I knew that one. And most amazing of all, none of you have attmepted to track me down and kill me for the endlessly asinine comments I leave all over the place.

Of course, if you try it now, you'll be in deep shit. My German Two-handed Sword class starts tonight. For real. More on that tomorrow. Assuming , of course, I don't accidentally lop off a classmate's head tonight, or vice versa.


Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

You're welcome, you saucy swain.

11:52 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

How much longer do we have to wait to see the "goods"? I need something to fill in the blanks between the arm and the chicken leg that I have seen.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I'm with soozieq....

show yourself!

2:00 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

I'm just waiting around until you show me the dragon. And by "the dragon", I mean your tattoo. Don't want to accidentally stumble across anyone's nickname for their junk.

Happy 2000. Or so.

2:35 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Without you, butter would have no meaning.

I'm with Sooz, Pissy and Eclectic- time to man up.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

It's a wonderful bloguniverse.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Way to go Limpy. It's been great reading your posts and also your comments on my own mediocre blog.

And you can keep the pictures of your junk to yourself. Unless, of course, you're actually Jessica Alba pretending to be a lawyer from New England. In that case you can make this a junkyard.

5:36 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Alkelda, love the alliteration.

Soozieq, depending on what you mean by "the goods", it could be a long wait. No one wants to see that.

BP, I would, but for some reason my image doesn't transfer to film. Or mirrors.

Eclectic, I posted a shot of the dragon tattoo awhile ago. I think you saw it, because I'm pretty sure you cracked on my skinny legs. Although I might have you confused with EVERYONE ELSE. Bastards.

Tysgirl, yes, but we'll always have whipped cream.

Orhan, welcome to the club.

Phollower, if I were really Jessica Alba I'd be spending all my free time jumping rope naked in front of a mirror instead of blogging. So I think we're safe there.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

German Two-handed sword class?!!!
my god what the hell?

8:32 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

I was absent that day. However, I fished around in your archives until I found it -- thanks for the link, pal. It's in Feb. 2007, and if you peruse the comments, you'll note that I'm not there, so save all the calf-anxiety resentment for the other bastards. I'm not denying being a bastard, just not for THAT reason. ;)

9:54 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

You're welcome. It's always a pleasure reading you.

Now give me a cure for the nervous hiccups I can't seem to cure. Just don't lop off a Russian/Pollock's head. Then, I may have to kill you.

Nevermind. I just scared the hell out of myself. ;-) DANG. Didn't work. Sneak up behind me and smack my ass or something.


10:58 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

hey, wait a minute! you forgot to mention i was your inspiration for starting a blog;D so you're welcome..

just kidding;)

3:47 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Whoo-hoo! As someone who loves asinine conversation..and just ass in my conversations, congrats and here's hoping you stick around for another 2k or so.

6:47 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Does it seem at all strange that you've attracted so many unicorns, I mean lesbians to your blog?

6:56 AM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

You're welcome, Barney... but I might add, you haven't learned a damn thing from me! LOLOL!!

8:54 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Rhonda, yes indeed. Two-handed sword play as a martial arts class.

Eclectic, if you'd asked, I'd have provided a link. So there. Plbthhh!!!

Lady K, there are no Russians in our class. I think there is a gnome, however, it could just be a geek.

Melanie, one of 'em anyway. It all goes back to Pat O'Brien....

PG, oh you just love ass. Let's not kid ourselves.

Zoe, given what else is on the internet, the percentage of lesbians reading this blog seems less than odd. It's the tranvestites with amphibian fetishes that freak me out!

8:55 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Lil Bit, well, after today that certainly isn't true!

9:18 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

German Two Handed Sword class?

I think you just threw that in to keep the non lesbian chicks coming back.

10:22 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Tysgirl, actually, that was more for the Scandanavian dominatrix set, but you're close.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Blondie (formerly BeckyD) said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog, but you need to come to the new one...

COme on by

1:05 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

Finally, I'm able to comment. I had to go through some vortex of upgrading my Blogger account.

I don't remember what I was going to originally said, before I discovered I didn't exist. Something about lesbian unicorns I think.

5:56 PM  
Blogger little sister said...

You're welcome, even though I recognize you are a typical lawyer who actually believes a number means something. Dude, clicking on your profile is how I get to your blog because I'm too lazy to update my blogroll.

My laziness notwithstanding, I wouldn't click on your profile if you weren't so dang interesting...interesting enough to be married to an apparently pretty, witty, sex-crazed woman. You got it goin' on, Limpy.

7:52 PM  
Blogger Groovy Lady said...

Congrats on the 2k! I happen to love your comments on my blog and the others I noticed we both frequent.

I seriously hope you never need to use your two-handed sword skills for any reason.. well unless it's on one of those little league parents and then it would probably be justified. You now have me visualizing you as The Highlander from the movie of the same name.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

I look forward to reading about this sport.
I have to say I've learned a few things from this complex Limpy dude.

11:10 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

Here's hoping your head is still in tact...

Don't be dirty. You know exactly what I am talking about.

I post pictures of other people nude... I'm not puting my naked ass on the net!


11:18 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Blondie, now you tell me.

RSG, unicorns everywhere hope you remember the comment.

Lil Sis, yeah, it's just number, but seeing 2,000 gave me adecent idea for a post. Which is rare, so I went with it.

Groovy Lady, I love Highlander. Great casting with Sean Connery playing a Spaniard named "Ramirez" with a thicker Scottish accent than Lambert.

Rhonda, funny you should say that...

JDR, don't be dirty??? Too late for that my dear, although I can guarantee you won't see naked pictures of me here. That's what my MySpace is for.

Seriously, I don't have a MySpace page. Stop looking for it.

6:07 AM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Congratulations on the 2,000 hits! Many you have double that in the next 15 months.

6:20 AM  

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