Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Analyze This

Or don't. Either way is fine with me.

I haven't posted much lately, sort of once a week for the last couple of weeks. I should post more I guess, but the weather's nice and I've been busy at work, so the time's just not there. I apologize if you feel I've neglected you, but let's face it, this relationship is pretty much shallow anyway, so just be thankful you get anything. I'll pull a Steve Novak/Nonny so fast it'll make your head spin buster!

Also I haven't been doing much that warrants blogging. We covered Little League last year and it's pretty much the same thing this year, except that the team is awful, half the kids don't pay any attention, two kids have wet thier pants while out in the field, and I think we're still 7-3 on the season. Thursday we play the best team in the league. They're apparently undefeated and should roll through us like a Mack truck through a puppy farm. Seriously, it's going to be ugly.

At any rate, in an effort to make up for my blogging slack, I offer you a peep into the dreamworld of Limpy. Yes, indeed, a frightening thought, but relax. We're going to avoid the dreams involving Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and a new set of sheets in the morning. No one needs to hear that. No, this is a recurring dream I've had over the years. It involves a bar. I don't knwo the name of it, nor do I know where it is. It seems to be in a bad part of town, although what town I could not tell you. It's always on the same street. The main entrance is on a curve. You walk down a hill and the hill curves from your right to your left.

No, your other left. Jesus, you people!

When you enter the bar at the main entrance, it's a narrow room, with a large window to the right and a bar/grill-counter on the left. The beer is good, but I don;t know the name. I believe that the food is supposed to be good as well, although I don't think I've ever actually eaten there. Yes, I know, it's a dream and technically I haven't done anything there. Don't start with me or I'll launch into a graphic description of the whole "Kate Beckinsdale in latex" dream that required the purchase on an entire new bedroom set.

Shut up Syd.

At any rate, after going through this room there's a corridor, usually kind of narrow, poorly lit and cluttered, much like my subconscious no doubt, that leads to a stage area. The bands playing there are usually playing great rock n' roll, although I can never recall who was playing when I wake up.

Last night I was at that bar again. It was closed. I'm oddly upset about this. I'm sure it means something. But all I want to know is "Where the fuck is this bar and how much for me to buy it????"


Blogger eclectic said...

Buying the bar at the bottom of a hill. Sounds like a slippery slope to me.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Sorry, you lost me after Kate Beckensale in latex. You really should put shit like that at the end of your post. Now, where's my copy of Underworld.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

I can't analyze it for you because:
1. I'm not all that bright
2. I just don't wanna.

What I will do is share an odd bit of dreamery from the land of Phollower. I have a fair number of dreams where I'm running. Usually away from somebody or something. For anyone who knows me for real this should come as no surprise. But in my dreams I can never run quickly. I'm always like in slow motion or stuck in quicksand or something. Then one night in my dream I tried running like an ape. You know, with both hands, then feet, then hands, then feet. Suddenly I could go SUPER fast. I first did this probably 10 or 15 years ago and it works to this day. It's made those, "I can't get away" dreams a lot less stressful. Back to you Dr Freud.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

I'm not one for dream analysis. Not that I think it's shit, just that I'm no good at it. For me, a cigar is a cigar.

Maybe you really want to be Sam Malone and own a place where everyone knows your name. Plus, rumor has it he had a lot of women in latex.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Ok well this is fun.
I have a dream book.
I'll try to interpret.

To dream you are at a bar, signifies your desire to escape from the stresses of your daily life and retreat into a light hearted environment.
Bad part of town, could mean it's a place you wouldn't normally go to...
Main Entrance is probably the present or future.
Right to left road may signify that you will have a natural change which is the right and left is spiritual change
not sure about narrow room...
Big window - says it's something revealed to you...
food area could mean, works or digestive system.
music - worship
Because it's a repetitive dream it says that it could come to pass.

Ok so either you think I'm wacked or it helps in some way?

I'll send you a bill.

6:33 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Huh, no strippers? Oh my god, who are you and what have you done with Limpy?

6:54 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

eclectic, that, that was just awful. Go to your room young lady.

Zoe, you can borrow mine if you can't find yours. Werewolves, vampires and Kate wrapped in latex. How did that not win an Oscar???

Phollower, yet one more reason to never go hiking with you.

Maggie, I'd be Sam Malone if I don't have to date Diane.

Rhonda, wow. Now that's an answer. I have no idea if it helps or not, but it does give all sorts of cool angles to it.

Tysgirl, maybe that's why I'm destined to buy it!! Ever think of that?

8:10 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hmmm. I have never had a recurring dream lock the door on me. I think I shall consult Freud and Jung about your dream life.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

Just disturbing, especially since this time it's closed. Hmm...

6:21 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Nick, that'd be perfect. Bring in the undead on this one!

Lady K, actually, I was there again last night, no doubt as a result of all this conversation. As usual, I only have a vague recollection of the dream, but the place was open. Also cleaner. And dammit, still no strippers.

9:10 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Don't you dare pull a Steve Novak. I wasn't as nearly attached to him as I am to you. The Freaktard and I will fly out there and hunt you don't want that.

The possible interpretation is pretty cool!

12:45 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Can I come out of my room now? I've learned my lesson and I'm really sorry. But, if I have to stay in here, could you at least toss me a magazine or two?

1:29 PM  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

OK, you've downed two Jessicas. How about the dream with Jessica Simpson? You could at least tell us that one.

2:22 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

I think it represents your quest for anal and the realization that port is closed. At least you can watch Stray-Gay-Rod if you want to see ass.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

Analyze THIS: I've tagged you. Read my blog, or I'm buying the bar out from under you. I have friends who are in real-estate.

10:33 PM  
Blogger cathy said...

Obviously the bar was closed for refurbishment.

On a more serious note you don't seem to be getting enough quality leisure and are feeling resentful about it.

2:52 AM  
Blogger dykewife said...

1. You need to become a publican
2. You need to learn to play electric guitar
3. You need to abandon everything and go on tour.
4. Before you do all that you need to put me on your insurance policy as beneficiary because I know your wife is going to kill you.

You kept me entertained all night. either that or I'm in desperate need of a life. Here are some observations I made while reading your archives:

Limbo is cancelled and all the babies are floating free. Mr. Christopher isn’t going to protect you when you travel either.

Yes. Yes, you are going to hell. I talked to Jesus and he said so.

I have lots of dragon graphics, the closest to the dragon on a column is a dragon on a high stack of books. However your tattoo is ok too.

You might like this Why Dragons Are Extinct.

I got the reference about the “tiny wafer” and I still have to plug my ears and chant "lalala" over and over again so long as creosote is being featured.

Calvin and Hobbes rock! I wish I could own the entire collection. Alas that shall wait until I get employed again.

Child care hint: duct tape can only be used once. Velcro can be used many times and makes a neat sound. It is more environmentally friendly and doesn’t hold fingerprints like duct tape does. You're a lawyer, I'm very surprised you didn't think of this yourself.

You make neat typos. My favourite thus far is “breakfats”

You like zombies? Go to Memphis TM for the Zombie Walk.

“Up With People” scare me and therefore should all be shot on sight.

That disappearing machine that Duke University people are developing should be ready by the time your daughter is dating. Right?

There is a television channel for the poker player in you: CGTV. all gambling and casino stuff all the time.

Ozzy is not the (insert reverberating guitar riff here) God of the Dead. That exalted post is inhabited by Dick Clark; his heir apparent is Keith Richards.

4:43 AM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

All I want to know is if you are getting too much sun or not enough sleep?!

5:39 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Soozieq, well, that's one way to meet the Freaktard.

Joe, not without violating the terms of the restraining order I can't.

Rat, um, no, I don't think so, but, uh, thanks.

Lady K, I have friends in organized crime. Hah!

Cathy, I suspect that you are actually closest to the mark with that analysis. I should have thought ahead and ordered prizes. Gee, who do I know who makes trophies?

Dykewife, I don't even know where to begin, so I will just say that I'm glad you were so entertained, I can't recall who Mr. Christopher was/is, I got a huge kick recently out of seeing that the Pope eliminated Limbo, and I do in fact make way too many typos. I'll check some of those links in a bit.

JDR, both, kiddo, both.

9:28 AM  
Blogger dykewife said...

Wow! I thought ever lapsed Catholic knew who Mr. Christopher was. He is the man formerly known as St. Christopher, patron saint of people who carry children on their shoulders...or something like that :) My dad still won't travel without his Mr. Christopher medal in the glove box.

He was de-sainted (saintisized?) during Vatican II as I recall. Him and a bunch of other saints lost their halos because the Church couldn't prove they actually existed.

One other saint that lost the halo was the woman formerly known as St. Brigid of Ireland. She used to be a Goddess to those Celt people and because of that lost her saintlyness and got to be a plain old Goddess type again.

9:57 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

DW, he'll always be St. Christopher to me. I knew there was question as to his status, but there are several Christopher's in our family, so we just agree to disagree with Rome and keep eating meat on Fridays.

11:09 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Oops, I missed Eclectic. Yes, you can come out of your room. Your PUNishmnet is over.
Get it? PUNishment?

Oh, I slay me.

11:36 AM  
Blogger cathy said...

I also do tarot readings:)

1:35 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

"No, your other left. Jesus, you people!"

LOL! Omg, soooooo snagged! LOL

I was curving down the hill in my mind TO my right and actually had to rethink it. wtf?

You don't need that bar... you just need a drink. ;)

5:37 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

on second thought.. maybe *I* do. LOL!

5:37 PM  

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