Friday, June 08, 2007

Father of The Year

Today is my son's birthday. 9 years ago today I held him in my arms and I never felt so much awe and fear and...

Hey, I should put that on a Starbucks cup and then everyone could know what a pretentious ass I am.
Just like that one I commented on a few months back, and am now too lazy to go back through the archives looking for.

But he's a pretty cool kid, and he did get me out of going to a heinous gathering tonight, so I went to the store this morning on the way to work and bought him the one present he really, really, really,really,reallyreallyreallyrealllyreallyreally REALLY wanted.

Halo 2.

It's some video game he played at a friend's house. I picked it up and talked to the clerk and made sure it was compatible with our computer. We don't have a video game system in our house, since I like to make our kids go outside, but more importantly because I don't want their games interfering with my 22 hour a day TV fix. So after confirming that it's compatible, (Indeed, it's actually designed for it!!!! Whoa!), I flip over the back and read the following:

Rated M. Ages 17+ Blood/Gore, Language, Partial Nudity.


Could be a problem.

I ask the clerk, "Hey, nerd, what's the story here? How nude is "partial"?"

He says he's played the entire game, (Of course you have, Caspar), and doesn't even remember any nudity. I figure that if a geek in the computer store can't recall the partial nudity it must not be there at all. The violence is supposedly tame, and they have to put that on any game that involves shooting, even if you're shooting the Snow Monsters of Geekador, or whatever the hell the object of this game is.

Then Caspar says, "But there is some pretty raw langauge in it"

To which I reply, "After the way the Yankees started this season, there isn't a thing in this game my kid hasn't heard three or four times already"

I bought the game. But I'm playing it first.


Blogger Maggie said...

Like I said, you're mom's getting the raw end of the deal.

Cool birthday present, though.

10:52 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

What, you actually make your kids go where.....outside? *gasp* How do you live with yourself? I think it's great.

I hope you really do play that game first, that shit is scary!

11:05 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Now maybe we're just raising a football-and-baseball-playing sissy over here, but I'm imagining something had to be pretty outside of our son's comfort zone for him to tell me in the car on the way home how this one game at Jake's house was so bad that he was afraid to be caught in the room when Jake was playing it, thinking if parents found out they'd all be in trouble.

The game? Halo2.

I haven't seen it myself, but I'd definitely play it first before handing it to my son.

12:02 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

PS -- Happy Birthday to Hotshot!

12:05 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Hey, once we had kids, Grandma could care less about us. Talk about spoiling children rotten.

Tysgirl, sometimes we make them read too.

Eclectic, great. I am positively ill with anticipation right now. Although seriously, I do appreciate the heads up. And thanks for the birthday wishes.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

You get my vote.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Soooooooo, have you found any nudes while playing the game?

9:53 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

All I read was blah blah blah blah & then I burst out loud laughing when you got to the comment about the Yankees & language. I think I let out my first "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" last weekend in front of the ex's kid. Of course it was when Abreu looked like Helen Keller fielding the play in Fenway.

Goddamnit, Limpy!

COULDN'T CARE LESS!!! Mother fucker. How many times to I have to correct the world on this one.

That's it. I need another Guinness or ten.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

Oh, and I don't think I ever heard "your mom is getting the raw end..." before in a sentence. I feel sick.

10:11 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

That's a good idea... pre-vet.

3:57 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

BP, thanks.

Nick, not a one. And it's pretty addiciting, so I've played a lot. Might be the "family" setting I have it on.

Rat, in order for children to grow into well-adjusted adults, they need to know how to properly curse at a sporting event. Also for car repair.

JDR, game's been vetted. I'm OK with it. You can set the on-line version for "family", whicjh I did. Rather than "underground" which might be too much for me.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Wow, so you like make your kids go outside to get fresh air and use their imagination and stuff? Whoa. Harshness.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Halo 2 was played incessantly until it was mastered at our house.

The Yankees? Did you have to bring that up?!

7:53 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

I've heard that game is pretty cool, but a little harsh for a 9-year-old. Then again, you know your son better than anyone and if you think he can handle it, I say go for it. Just be there for the night terrors. ;-) Just kidding!

6:37 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

PG, yesterday we made fake blood with the chemistry kit my father gave him for his birthday. I'll have to remember to thank Dad for that.

Rhonda, yes, I do have to bring up the Yankees. Every damn day of the season.

LK, it's actually not a bad game, although I'm sure we're just scratching the surface of it. Alien gore doesn't seem to bother him.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Melanie said...

my 9 year old son love Halo 2 and just told me the other day that he "beat" it. whatever that means...

9:24 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I have no idea either. so far the game's beating me and I think I'm getting carpal tunnel.

12:21 PM  

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