Wednesday, June 06, 2007

My Memes Floweth Over

Lady K tagged me a few days ago. I'm a pushover, so I'll do it. Apparently the rules are to say 8 things about yourself, on any random topics. Then you tag 8 other people. However, I can always be counted on to throw chain letters out, and I'm not tagging anyone here either. You wanna do this, go ahead. It's entirely up to you.

1. I am right-handed.

2. I once wrote a letter to Penthouse Forum. It concerned myself, a petitie redhead with stunning green eyes, two sex toys and contained the phrase 'squealed like a pig in ecstasy.' With the the exception of the opening line "I never believed your stories were true", it was also completely false. It was a really good story and later disappeared. Several of us suspected one fo the other guys in the dorm stole it for his own uses. I refuse to go any farther down that road.

3. I met my wife in a bar. She came in while I was talking to another guy about a Little League team we were going to abuse/coach. I thought she was hot. She thought I had muscular shoulders. She was drunk. Early on my mother asked why I nver dated girls I met in church. My response was that "Probably becuase I haven't been to church in 8 years, but I'm at a bar every night."

4. I am very good at keeping secrets. For instance, this one time, my friend Dave told me he...never mind.

5. In 8th grade I was voted "Class Mad Scientist" To this day I don't know why, as my knowledge of science is limited to knowing that if you leave water over heat long enough, it will boil.

6. I am a Jeopardy! champion. I appeared on the show in 1998. I won the first time I was on. I got my ass kicked in the second show. Which was too bad because the next show was being taped in Boston, about 90 minutes from my house, and I guarantee I would have produced the rowdiest Jeopardy! crowd ever. After taxes I took home about $2.64 and a TV.

7. I (God, it's all about me isn't it?) hated law school and still regard it as a wasted three years. In my opinion law students learn very little that they will actually use in later practice. I think that the whole thing could be cut down to one year and another year of apprenticeship and the field would be better served. But since that would result in hundreds of professors actually having to practice a craft they clearly don't understand, that will never happen.

8. My wife has seen my cry exactly once. We were at a Mexican restaurant and I accidentally ate an entire jalapeno. This resulted in copious tears and rivers of snot running down my face. Years later, we had to put our dog down when her kidneys failed. Knowing that I would cry, my wife left for the day. Her explanation was "I don't want to have to tell everyone what a pussy you are."

And that's why I marry chicks I find in bars instead of churches.

17 Comments:

Blogger eclectic said...

OMG, you are so right about how law school should be! I LOVED law school, never had more fun in my entire life! It had absolutely NOTHING to do with the practice of law, which is why, if they did it your way, I'd never have become a lawyer. Which, now that I think of it, would probably have been for the best. ;)

1:41 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Were you REALLY a Jeopardy champ? That's pretty neat if you were. It's an excellent lie if you weren't

2:57 PM  
Blogger Tai said...

You're RIGHT HANDED!?! OMG! So am I!!!

wow.
The things you suspect but just can't truly believe.

:)

4:17 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Eclectic, you'd have gone on to fame and fortune as a triathlete. You'd have been fine!

Phollower, yep, honest and for true. The answer to final Jeopardy was "What is the Vatican"

Tai, see I knew that would suck people in.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Loops O'Fury said...

Hello, I came from Rat's blog.

Lol @ #3. I'm moving to a new city...my mother-in-law told me I should join a church so I can meet people my age. Um... 1) so you admit people only go to church to socialize; 2) don't roll with churchies; 3) WTF?

5:15 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

'WHAT IS THE WALDORF ASTORIA'?!?!


Are you kidding me?!

8:00 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

"I don't want to have to tell everyone what a pussy you are."


That almost made me spit my Guinness all over my keyboard.

I like her already.

8:44 PM  
Blogger Rainwolf said...

Chicks in bars are much more intelligent that chicks found in churches. They have a wider range of topics, and more than 1 boyfriend.

9:24 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Jeopardy? Is that where you were discovered?- for your well endowed porn career that is.

dammit, how many more mortgage payments am I going to have to make?

5:28 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Welcome Loops. As I recall, you'd have to be 70+ too meet people your own age at church. or 12.

Maggie, someone's got a Jeopardy DVD set I see. Hey, at least I didn't lose any money with that answer.

Rat, she does have a way with words.

RW, and they put out!

Tysgirl, yes, Jeopardy is a well-known cruising ground for porn scouts. Why do you think Trebek kept that cheesy mustache so long?

I win Powerball, you'll have no mortgage.

5:50 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

I feel like we've bonded now.

LOL my mom is always telling me I'll find the right guy "in church." I think he's at the go-cart track.

6:51 AM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

you have a funny wife.
(but I think I said that before)

1:18 PM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Man, your into baseball, beer, women you meet in bars, AND you were on Jeopardy!?

That makes you a total stud in my book.

So of course your married.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hey, I think I dated that petite redhead with stunning green eyes when I was in college. No, couldn’t be. That was back in 1966 and she probably wasn’t born yet.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Whimsical Ranter said...

You appear to be a man of many talents.

5:20 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

So you don't learn anything in law school, that would completely explain my current situation with my completely incompetent attorney who now hates me. Got it.

8:49 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Lady K, or at the horse track. Lotsa hot guys hang out there.

Rhonda, yes I do.

PG, don't forget my love of the Supersuckers.

Nick, it could well have been the same woman. Last I knew, figments of imagination don't age.

WR, yes, let's go with that thought!

RSG, sounds like 2-3 people I went to law school with.

6:34 AM  

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