Friday, June 01, 2007

Why Some Things Should Never Be

I just came back from a lunch with two friends of mine where we discussed buying a minor league baseball team. Keep in mind that this venture is significantly hampered by at least two of us not having that kind of money and or credit, and the third nout knowing much about baseball. Basically, while I'd love to own a minor league team, unless I can find an owner willing to risk losing his team in a rousing game of "What Have I Got In My Pockets?", its not going to happen.

And that may not be a bad thing. At least, judging by the ideas that were flying around for marketing the team. Changing the team name to the "Tools" for example. Allowing a fan to play third base for an inning or two. And my personal favorite, "Jailbait Night." I suspect that we'd lead the league in bad publicity and gate receipts, at least until we got busted.

Editor's Note: (actually, it's me. As Dykeswife pointed out, there aint' no editor around here) "What Have I Got In My Pockets" is stolen from JRR Tolkien's "The Hobbit", one of the first books I ever thumbed my grubby way through by myself. The reference makes no sense unless you've read the book. So if you didn't get it, go read the book, then come back and read the post again and it will be ever so much more hilarious.


Blogger Zoe said...

I would totally come to see your team play if you had jailbait night. Some of those marketing ideas aren't so bad, unless you're looking for like a family atmosphere or something. But who wants kids around when they are trying to watch a game anyway?

1:39 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

More importnatly Zoe, who wants kids around when its Jailbait Night?

1:53 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Well, technically, the "jailbait" are kids, so you kinda answer you own question there, Limpy.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

I would pay to see a game of "What Have I Got In My Pockets?" You're hilarious!

4:45 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

LOL @ Lady K!
Is that game like pocket pool for spectators? ;)

5:34 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Eclectic, yes, but not your own kids.

Lady K, really? How much? Cuz we could also do "what have I got in my pockets night"!

LB, no, but I'm thinking of making it audience participation!

5:57 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Jailbait night, hmmmmm......I'm thinking in between innings you could hold auditions, I mean you're going to have to hire strippers for your bar anyways.

5:59 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

As an Old Hobbit (but not as old as Bilbo), I first read the book many, many, many years ago.

Perhaps you should go to Russia for a while. I heard on the BBC this evening that one of the Russian billionaires now living in London has purchased a British soccer (football) team just for his own amusement.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Rainwolf said...

I need to re-read. I loved the books, never seen a movie.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Jailbait Night would be SUCH a hit!

I think you're on to something!

10:35 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Don't forget about "Ball Girls". You could really cash in on that one. Tie it in to Jailbait Night.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...


I never answer quick enough.

It would be great if more sports teams were owned by "regular" people. As Zoe suggested, having a kid-free night (as opposed to always annoying free kid night) would be great. If you had $1 beers and hot dogs the place would be packed. Packed with fat, drunk people but our money is just as green as everyone else's.

10:34 AM  
Blogger little sister said...

Well, dang. I've never read The Hobbit, and I'm not really in the mood to, so I'll never find this post more hilarious than I've found it now.

I'd love to see a random fan playing third base for an inning or two...or how 'bout having a fan catch for an inning or two? ;)

11:45 AM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

You could even have "We Challenge The Yankees" night & have a 50 / 50 chance of winning.

11:07 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Tygirl, actually, the stripper auditions are on "Runaway Night"

Nick, if I can find a billionaire, I might make the trip.

Rainwolf, the newest movies are worth the roughlt 13-14 hours you'll need to see them on DVD.

BP, nothing legal, but I probably am on to something.

Maggie, send in your application. We'll see waht we can do.

Phollower, well played sir. But it was actually lint.

Lil Sis, actually, I think the Yankees are actually doing that this week.

Rat, two of my Little Leaguers have try-outs with the Bombers this week.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

I would be all for it. Owning my own team.

Hmmm. In the context that is me, that kinda sounds dirty.

Now, what do I have in my pocket, is totally dirty in the context that is me and I like it that way.

11:17 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I'll bet it vibrates.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

I bet you're right.

1:54 PM  

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