Monday, July 09, 2007

I can't get a title up there for some reason, but if I did, it would have been "Point of Parliamentary Procedure". You see, after the last post, several of you seem to think that I enjoy Rumplemintz, and, in not so many words, (I'm looking at you Maggie), am therefore much more likely to have a homosexual crush on Bo Duke.

Allow me to set the record straight.

I drank a lot of Rumplemintz in college, but then, I drank a lot of everything short of strained sterno in college. I once did 33 kamikaze shots, although they were being made in a dorm room and I suspect had far more ice than alocohol in them. If I tried that in a bar, this blog would probably be conspiuously silent for, well, probably forever. We used to drink a lot of peachtree schnapps, because girls liked it, and in college, if the girls like it, you buy it. Or at least take it from your friends who are old enough to buy booze. I also drank beer like Old Weiddemann's, Old German, Schaefer, Schmidts, Schlitz, (is it just me or is the best thing about those last three the ability to keep ordering them no matter how shit-faced one gets? "Gimme a schlittthhhhhh" Conicidence? I think not), Harley Davidson Heavy Beer, (yes, it does taste like motor oil), and Narragansett. Piels Light was a gold standard for us.

The point being, in college one does a lot of things without really knowing anything about them, like having sex with co-eds despite a familiarity with the female body roughly equivalent to one's familiarity with particle physics. "Really? The clitoris isn't a mythological thing like unicorns or Eskimos? Really?" Such blissful ignorance would of course include, (and probably precede the unfortunate opening of this paragraph), drinking booze without realizing the tastier options. So yes, in college I drank Rumplemintz and cheap beer. Now, I drink Jameson's, tequila and scotch. I prefer Sam Adams, Guinness and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale for my beer, but I'll try any of 'em at least once. But when the owner of a bar buys everyone at the bar a shot, and he's buying Rumplemintz, well, I'd have to be some kind of rude dick to refuse it. And I'm never, ever, rude to bar owners who are giving away free booze. That's just silly.

17 Comments:

Blogger Maggie said...

Alright, alright....put down your Fuzzy Navel so I can give you a hug and we'll be friends again.

11:32 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

You just want me to put it down so you can steal it.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Yea, my mom is all out.

11:35 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Next time I'm in New England, you can buy me a shot of scotch. Neat, please. (The scotch, not you. I don't care really if you're neat or not, as long as you're buying.) *heh*

11:58 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

I've never had Rumplemintz-ewwww. Mint flavored liquor is just gross. Now if you want cheap AND good, how about some MadDog 20/20 (Grape). Or any flavor of Boone's Farm. For beer may I suggest Goebel (it's a fine french beer), PBR is always a classic or Little Kings, they rock.

12:18 PM  
Blogger Litlsassy20 said...

So what I'm reading between the lines is that you are 'in the closet' when it comes to enjoying the 'princess' drinks..........

1:30 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Maggie, clearly, your Mom is way cooler than you.

Eclectic, buy my ass. There's enough scotch in my basement to stun a horse.

Nonny, you're not missing much. Sickly sweet stuff. As for your fortified wine suggestions, I'll see your MD 20/20 and raise you a bottle of Night Train. We had a "Night Train Party" one night that ended with hallucinations.

Sassy, not true at all. I am quite open about my love for margaritas. Especially raspberry. On the rocks. No salt.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Phronk said...

Mmm, nothin wrong with girly drinks. I've never had this Rumplemintz stuff, but if you can make a grasshopper with it, I'm all over that.

But Sam Adams? I had Sam Adams just once, at a bar, and I nearly puked. I love beer, and that's the only beer I've met that I didn't like. Maybe it had gone bad or something.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

Wait, so you like doing body shots off of Chipendale dancers at gay bars? Is that the update?

5:05 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

Okay.
With the exception of the schnapps, I don't recognize any other alcohol you list here!

Am I young?
Or sheltered?
I thought I lived a full life... you make me doubt.

6:41 PM  
Blogger dykewife said...

oh, you mean that's a real name? it kind of had shades of the book "rape of the a*p*e*" which had the account of magnolia thunderpussy suing the california phone book people for refusing to list her name despite them listing some guy named rumpleforeskin.

are you sure it's a real name?

8:52 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

LMAO!

8:56 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Ugh, kamikazes bring back bad memories. That was the last time I drank tequila. Well, I have no memories of that night, but the next morning I woke up, removed my bra, and a kamikaze glass fell out.

9:13 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

I was at a party back when I was of college age and a few people were turning shot glasses upside-down so the divot on the underside of the shot glass was upright. They then filled the little divot with Rumplemintz and snorted it. I can't remember what they called it. I bet they can't either.

6:26 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

Rumpleminz isn't that bad, but I couldn't do shot after shot of anything with that much sugar and not wake up hungover.

6:30 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Phronk, Sam Adams makes 21 different beers. Not all of them are good. Their triple bock has made me queasy in the past.

Rat, interesting interpretation, but, uh, no.

Blondie, you could be young, sheltered, or just less of an alcoholic than I am.

DW, I am indeed sure it's a real name. I've had enough of it in the past. Of course, now I want to put out a homebrew called "Magnolia Thunderpussy" I'm thinking a summer-brew would be ideal.

Maggie, you're not laughing with me, you're laughing at me.

Syd, in college our kamikazes were vodka, triple sec and Rose's lime juice. All ground up with ice and consumed like a slushy. No tequila. Hence, no shot galsses in my bra.

Phollower, my nose started bleeding just reading that.

LK, I only had a couple of shots. Even though I can walk to this bar, I try not to let the kids see Daddy hungover more than 3 times a week.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

alrighty then, well thx for clearing THAT up, now I can sleep better. LOL

12:19 PM  

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