Because Well-Adjusted Kids Are Boring Kids
Part 37 in an ongoing series of me against my children.
Scene: Last Night at Bed Time. Bedroom, (coincidentally), lights about to go out.
Son (age 9): "Dad, can you check the closet for monsters?"
Me: "What are you, 4? really?"
Son: "Yeah, I'm serious"
Me: "OK"
Goes to closet, opens it
Me: "Uh, 1,2,3...yep, looks like they're all in there. Good night son" -click-
Son: "You're the worst father ever" (but laughing)
Scene: Last Night at Bed Time. Bedroom, (coincidentally), lights about to go out.
Son (age 9): "Dad, can you check the closet for monsters?"
Me: "What are you, 4? really?"
Son: "Yeah, I'm serious"
Me: "OK"
Goes to closet, opens it
Me: "Uh, 1,2,3...yep, looks like they're all in there. Good night son" -click-
Son: "You're the worst father ever" (but laughing)
posted by limpy99 at 10:17 AM
20 Comments:
That's officially awesome. I'm totally gonna use that one if I ever get asked to check the closet for monsters when babysitting my nieces and nephew. At which time 2 hours of screaming for their mommy will begin and Uncle Phollower will be off the babysitting hook forever.
My sister-in-law should've known better anyway.
That's great!
He'll probably remember that forever and use it on his own children some day!
Ok, that is funny! I don't know what is better though, ridiculing him first or the counting of the monsters thing. Heh.
LMAO that sounds like me and my oldest son, I tell him all the time he's either a) a girl or b) rides the short bus........depending on what insanity comes out of his mouth
Good one, Limpy!
That is a very good one. I like it. :)
Start giving the monsters names...."Sprack - Eater of Nine Year Olds"
I tell my kids that the monsters aren't in the closet, they're under the bed.
That's a good one. I would have jumped back screaming, but I like your approach. Tell him it's just the ghosts of the Red Sox lead past.
I'm going to have to remember that one for future use.
lol...that's marvelous! i'm sure the psychologist is going to name his/her boat after you! i think that tysgirl is right, he's going to use it on his own kids someday.
At least you got a sense of humor about the whole thing. That's a good thing. That means you will only slightly warp your kids.
Let me remember: Ah! It was the kid in Berkeley Breathed's Bloom County who had monsters living in his bedroom closet. You really need to find a book of those old comic strips to give to your son, especially of you're to live up to his expectations
LMAO you are so evil! I love it!
Phollower, I'm not sure I could take the two hours of screaming, but if it works for you, feel free to use it. I won't even ask for royalties.
Tysgirl, no, he'll remember and try it on his sister tomorrow.
Soozieq, I try to cover all the bases.
LS, thanks. Sounds like our kids will meet in therapy in the future.
Maggie, ooh, specific names. I like it!
RSG, are you really going to leave an "in the closet" straight line just hanging there? Really?
Rat, since the lead is back to 5, I'm trying to avoid any jinks. But I like the screaming part.
Zoe, um, are you trying to tell us something?
DW, psychlogist schmycologist. They can just brak into the liquor cabinet like all the other kids.
Pud, slightly warped kids are half off!
Nick, I have a collection of "Bloom County" books, but right now he's mostly into "Calvin & Hobbes" It's a good start either way.
LK, if only DCF would see it that way.
LMAO that was so funny.
Lovely! We only have one real closet in the house, and it's in our bedroom. The scariest things in our house are dust bunnies and ghosts.
I'm looking forward to the stories where son (9) becomes son (16) and gets back at dad (age, 40-something).
As I've been saying all year, would someone please tell Mussina he's not good enough anymore to demand his own personal catcher. I'm really starting to fucking hate him even more than when he was great & beating the Yankees as an Oriole. I just have this horrible feeling of hopelessness when he pitches this whole season. At least he didn't make me suffer for long tonight. Freaking 2-0 after 1 inning. Bitch.
Your son is going to have an awesome sense of humor when he grows up!
You are giving him a treasure.
I finally checked the mlb.com archives & they showed the game with the Angels announcers on Monday night. Anyway, Michael Kay & Al got into it big time on Sunday discussing the so-called "Chamberlain Rules" regulating his pitching appearances. Al got pretty fired up then, and in his defense Kay was being a total douchebag just inciting him.
Pixie, we do have our moments here don't we?
Alkelda, my wife wishes he lived in a house with ghosts. I'm not sure the kids would be up for that.
PG, and that's why Dad is considering taking up mixed martial arts as a hobby.
Rat, I think Mussina just doesn't like Posada, since he takes the back-up catcher as his guy all the time. But I'm with you, Mussina isn't remotely good enough to pull that shit.
Rhonda, he's already well on his way to that.
Rat, the "Chamberlain rules" need to go. If he's on the major league roster, he ought to be available just like any other pitcher.
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