Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why I'm Not In MENSA

Well, for starters, my mother-in-law is allegedly a member of this high IQ group. Secondly, I have trouble deciding what to do when the remote battery dies and I might actually have to get up and manually change channels and/or get batteries. And third, let's face facts, I'm a fucking idiot.

But last Xmas said mother-in-law gave me a MENSA desk calendar. Every day there's a new quiz you can take, and in my case, fail, similar to the sorts of brain ouzzlers MENSA people do for fun. Also, they probably spell "puzzle" without the "o". There's all sorts of math questions having to do with apples, oranges, trains leaving different stations at different speeds and crap like that. Also word puzzles. I suppose they're fun of you're into that sort of thing, and also have a thought capacity greater than that of a mildly deranged hamster. Myself I just skip to the back and find the answer.

Yesterdays was a word scramble with all the vowels taken out. You had to figure out what the well-known proverb was. Since my knowledge of proverbs is roughly equivalant to my knowledge of quantum physics, it was right to the back. The proverb was "One swallow does not make a summer" And I instantly thought,"maybe, but it does make a helluva a good night"


Blogger Party Girl said...

You stole my joke.

See, we're of a MENSA mind, just of a different kind of MENSA.

I like my MENSA over their MENSA.

I have thought about taking their test, you know, just to see how stupid I really am.

10:50 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Or morning, or afternoon, or all of the above...

Oh wait. Was there a topic for discussion? Right. MENSA. Hey, I thought you can't be a member unless you have menses.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:01 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

PG, I wonder if MENSA has a "perverts" division? That would be a different kind I'd be up for.

Eclectic, I can't believe you played the menses card. Before Syd.


Man, that was a good one!

11:21 AM  
Blogger Litlsassy20 said...

See, I've got you ALL beat.......I don't have a damn clue what the hell you people are talking about!
Well, except for the swallow part......that one I understand :)
girls spit, ladies swallow ;o) right??!? lol

MENSA gonna call mes a !DUMBASS! apparently.....but why do I care I don't even know who da mens are.........

12:28 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

kaboom ching!
that was so bad, but I laughed!

1:25 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Shut up Limpy. I spelled "nymphomania" wrong and it looked stupid.

1:28 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

My IQ is high enough to be in that club but they don't serve good snacks and the people are all geeks.

3:02 PM  
Blogger Pixie said...

Hee hee, you ought to pass that little gem onto the MIL next time she visits ;)

7:48 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Limpy, I'd much rather have a calendar full of your proverbs. Do you have a site somewhere that I could purchase one?

9:12 PM  
Blogger dykewife said...

my laughing woke up bran :) i once thought of taking the mensa test but then realized that i didn't know what' i'd do with that. so i didn't.

2:01 AM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

You're not missing anything. The chicks are so uptight that they either don't get anyone of the sexual innuendoes or they don't let on that they do. It's lame. I should switch to the calendar since I hate being in groups.

Wait, weren't we talking about someone swllwng? Not in that group.

2:12 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

I hate it when I get my MENSA.

I'm still laughing over the "mildly deranged hamster" line. Guess I won't be joining THAT group anytime soon, huh? And jeez, who's calling whom uptight in here? LMAO

6:43 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

You are a sick bastard, and apparently a little evil also. I was rather impressed with your evil score!

6:49 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Have you ever taken that free online IQ test? I forget the site. It's soooo easy. I think I got a 124! It will really make you feel smart.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Pud said...

That's too funny!

We have Toast's "You Must Choose" calendars in our office in Iraq. Everyday we ask the question on it, just so everyone can argue.

9:25 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

LS, Girls spit ladies swallow and boys say yes to girls who undress.

Rhonda, Finally! I was waiting for a rim shot on that one. I said "shot" Syd.

Maggie, yes, because spelling and editing so clearly count on this blog.

RSG, I think your IQ is proving itself by not joining.

Pixie, yeah, assuming I haven't faked my own death to get out of the house.

Soozieq, gee, a whole calendar filled with variations on "fuck off". Sounds like a money-maker!

DW, a sound decision. My apologies to Bran.

Rat, MENSA types are uptight? I am shocked!

LK, which group is that now? The mildly deranged hamster support group?

Tysgirl, if you're just figuring that out now, you're not getting into MENSA.

Nonny, I think I have taken it. I can't recall what I scored. Which probably means it wasn't all that good to begin with.

Pud, well, I hope Toast gets royalties on it. And that you leave Iraq soon. And that Alan Faneca comes back to the Steelers.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

LOL!! *gulp*
I've got my MENSA right now, dammit... sans an "o" (big or otherwise).

9:30 AM  

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