Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Brainlock

I can't even come up with a decent title these days. Labor Day Weekend was a little nuts, to say the least. My wife woke up Saturday with a sprained neck, (the answer's no, although I wish I was responsible that way), and wound up going to the ER, where she was given all sorts of good drugs. Subsequently, she spent most of the weekend on the couch in a Vicodin-haze, while I entertained the kids. Sure, I entertained them by letting them draw all over Mommy, but let's not pretend you wouldn't have done the same thing. Also on the schedule for the weekend was a Saturday morning baseball practice at 9 am. I haven't been up that early on a weekend in months, except one time when I was awake at 6 am, but that's only because I hadn't gone to bed yet. The head coach is in Louisiana this week, we have one more practice tomorrow, and then our first game Saturday. This doesn't bode well for my coaching career. I'm not even sure what all the kids names are, and to make things worse, there's a set of twins on the team. I refer to them as "green twin", "red twin", or whatever color shirt they happen to be wearing. I'm sure they love that. Then we went to an agricultural fair in eastern CT where I dragged the kids around for 3-4 hours in 90 degree weather and showed them what prize cows and toothless hillbillies look like, and explained why the former are worth more than the latter. And let my son fire BB pellets out of a machine gun. His mother was less than thrilled about that when we got home. I'm sure my response of "fuck you stoner" didn't help any, but hey, I'm not the one huffing Vicodin.

Actually, she's better now and we have leftovers. The bidding starts at $15 a pill. Don't be shy.

Then I took my son out on the canoe Monday afternoon. Turns out that a 9 year old isn't of much use paddling a canoe into 20 mph winds, and we spent most of our time being blown around the lake. Usually I like getting blown around for an entire afternoon, but not that way. After succesfully battling the elements and returning to shore, I figured out a way to put the canoe on the roof of the car all by my big self, (Hint: just throw the fucking thing up there and worry about the paint job later), and we drove home. Fortunately the canoe didn't decide to start falling off the car until we were 20 yards from the driveway, so that tragedy was averted. Which we followed up with a bonfire in the backyard, (which is even more fun when there's been no rain for two weeks and your yard resembles a tinder factory), complete with S'mores and me getting a second degree burn on my foot when I steeped on a hot ember that came out of the fire-pit.

Subsequently, at this point I'm still pretty tired, especially after staying up until 1 am watching "The Departed", which was good but not great. Mark Wahlberg was underused, a sentence I never thought I'd write.

Hopefully I'll wake up and write more later.

23 Comments:

Blogger eclectic said...

If you're gonna burn your foot, at least this way you've got vicodin.

(I'm just a silver-lining little ray of sunshine... you're welcome.)

11:44 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

You're just all kinds of cheerful today.

You should have hung with us, we had drunken slip-n-slide competitions in the back yard! I could've even hooked you up with some toothless hillbillies! Or at the very least- a goat.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Trop said...

Oh man, I stayed up last night watching Departed! Great film.

12:32 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Eclectic, or lots of Sam Adams Octoberfest and ice.

Tysgirl, aren't I though? I think most of it is exhaustion from dealing with people from 6 different towns for Little League. It'll be a small miracle if we get two games in.

Trop, I liked it, but I didn't think it was great. Seemed to speed things along without any explanation for why everything was working out the way it did. Good acting though. Alec Baldwin was great in a small role.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

My thoughts exactly on, The Departed.

2:06 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

I think if should have "Red Twin" and "Green Twin" engraved on their trophies (or just wait until the last minute and decided based on what they're wearing the day of the end of the year party).

Aren't you glad their parents don't dress them in matching clothes? I never understood that.

2:32 PM  
Blogger sylvia said...

I love Sam Adams Octoberfest. Great beer. We have to buy enough now so I don't go into withdrawl in December when you can't find it anywhere.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Jeez! You were just the all-American dad weren't you?!??! ;-)

hope your wife is feeling better. :)

5:19 PM  
Blogger Two Kids and a Husband said...

hey found you through DGM...very funny!! sound like my husband...he would entertain the kids with mommy magic marker tattoo time...

6:53 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Recovered yet?

7:12 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

I'll give you twenty...

7:56 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

I am ashamed to say that I cheered for Gay-Rod tonight for the first time ever when he hit the two HRs in the same inning.

Hilarious post, but I can't think of anything witty to say.

Kick ass in the game. I used to coach little kids basketball and referee little kids soccer. Man, it can be a real blast. Don't get all crazy competitive. If the twins don't like their names, tell them they're luck the triplet died at birth or it would be even more confusing.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

My bid is $50. I've been hurting for weeks AND I burned myself.

'nuff said.

Hope you got a good shot of the moustache the kids drew on your wife. ;)

9:08 PM  
Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

What would I do without you? I snorted when I read "Mark Wahlberg was underused..." though really, after I saw "I Heart Huckabees," I had new respect for the man.

I'm sorry your wife had to go to the ER, but at least she got some escapism out of the whole deal.

9:42 PM  
Blogger Pud said...

Wow! You weekend was way more actioned packed than my mortar rounds being shot at us weekend.

11:24 PM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

First, at the mention of Vicadin I realized I still have some leftover from when I broke my leg two years ago.
Sure, they're old, but I am betting that one or two (six) of those beautiful white pills and some Sam Adams, and I'll finally get that good night's sleep I've been daydreaming about. Yep, pretty sure that will be my Friday and Saturday. Thanks!

Second: Reading this post I kept picturing you as Jim Belushi and Tom Hanks. Not sure why, but I say run with it.

9:33 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Rhonda, then I stand confirmed. Or something like that.

Soozie, they will be in matching clothes if and when we ver get our alleged uniforms. In which case I'll be writing "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" on their foreheads. I really shouldn't be allowed near kids.

Sylvia, but it goes bad after a couple of months. I too have tried hoarding it. Sierra Nevada makes a good winter beer. Basically, I've worked it out so I can stay shit-faced all year long. Don't judge me.

BP, she's fine now, thanks. And if by All-American you mean "really tired and slightly buzzed each night", well, you got it.

Two Kids etc., welcome aboard.

Nick, not so much, but thanks for asking.

RSG, so far you're the leader.

Rat, I've always liked A-Rod as a player, although as a person, he's just a little weird. I hope he stays around. I have a feeling this team could be pretty good, but we'll see. I'll do my share by screaming at the kids.

LK, and we have a winner! Although I should give RSG another chance to bid.

Alkelda, Whalberg can be a pretty good actor, "Planet of the Apes" aside.

Pud, yeah, but you're used to that by now.

PG, apparently you can make $300 off Lady K with that stash. As for Belushi and Hanks, I'd love their money. And I've always loved Belushi's monologue from the opening scene to "About Last Night" I used to be able to do it word for word. Now all I really remember is the end "Those firemen make out like bandits"

10:06 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Get out of my head.

"About Last Night" was exactly what I was picturing.

....really? $300? eBay, anyone?

3:42 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Good luck with your game tomorrow!

6:28 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Perhaps there should have been one of those Ember Alerts you're always seeing on the news. Then you wouldn't have burnt your foot.



Thank you very much, I'll be here all week.

8:52 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

PG, that's probably Belushi at his best. "Joan, if you didn't have a pussy there'd be a bounty on your head" So many great lines.

Tysgirl, game tomorrow is turning into a scrimmage. I think the other team consists of five kids.

Phollower, not with lines like that you won't.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Whimsical Ranter said...

I'm still stuck on the idea that you took care of the kids, regardless of how, while your wife rested.

What are you a stepford husband?

9:54 AM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

So, did ya down the "extra" pill for the burnt tootsies?

Haven't seen The Departed yet, so thx for not giving away spoilers.

11:10 AM  

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