Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Still Here

OK, so I disappeared for a week or so. We're moving our office at work and packing stuff up every spare minute. At the same time out-of-office things have picked up, requiring me to spend most of each week in other offices or courts, usually banging my head up and down on tables and wondering why my client just said that. Consequently when I get home my head hurts and I dont want to use the computer for anything other than slaughtering hordes of aliens on Halo 2. Fucking aliens.

Halo 3 comes out this week. My son is tremendously excited and wanted to be first in line to get one. I told him to get a life; girls don't chase guys who get the high score on video games. Have they started to do that yet? Becasue if they have I'll need to change that whole speech.

Then on Friday I skipped work but that's becuase I had to dig up our spectic tank and wait for the guy to come and pump it out. Can you say "white trash"? On the plus side, no sewer fees! Ever seen a septic tank just before it's five-year cleaning? It's impressive. I suspect our family is doing OK in the roughage department. Took the guy 20 minutes to clear it out with a high-powered pump. I stayed nearby and kept the dog from jumping in. So much filth to roll in, so little time. Then I reburied the tank and tried to come up with a good reason to drive 40 minutes to work, stay for two hours and then come home. I couldn't do it, so I took the dog hiking instead.

Saturday I went to a friend's house to watch the Yankees get killed, 10-1. I may have had some beers there. Then my brother and I went to a soccer game, where we may have had some more beer. And then to a bar where his girlfriend works, where we definitely had some beer. And then across the street to shoot pool at a low-life bar, where we had more beer. But no cocaine, which put us in the minority. Then back to the first beer where I switched to coke, (acola), and then got the girlfriend to drive me home.

Sunday I woke up a bit tired, (but no hangover thanks to switching off to soda and OD'ing on aspirin before going to bed), and had to go to a christening party. Yay. We were promised food, so we went. The "food" was, to put it charitably, terrible. I would rather go after some of the stuff I saw in the septic tank. We grilled steak when we got home. Because I was too lazy to start digging again. Then I saw Derek Jeter hit a 3-run homer off Curt "God told me I'm awesome" Schilling to win the game for the Yankees and all was right with the world.


Blogger eclectic said...

Anyone wanting you to come into work for a couple hours after the septic interlude is SOL (so to speak). I mean, how could you NOT take the dog for a hike after wafting all that raw sewage right under his nose without letting him/her roll in it?! People who don't understand that are dead to me.

Also, does this new office space mean everyone gets wood doors now, or are you going to join the troups in Cubicle-Land?

8:46 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

We've still got a septic tank too so I guess we're tied in the white trash dept. Actually I'm fairly certain we'd kick your ass in the white trash dept and I'll bet my wife/cousin's left tit on it.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

septic tanks to Yankee games...yep, that about covers it.

11:17 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Ah hell, when I was a kid- our septic tank had a pipe sticking out of the ground about 12 inches with a coffee can over the top of it. Now that's white trash! When it was time to pump, the truck would pull up and drop a hose down the pipe.

I was always terrified to go anywhere near that pipe.

11:54 AM  
Blogger dykewife said...

after the episode where you counted monsters in the closet, i don't believe for a moment that your son takes your advise.

6:24 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Before those excuses will be accepted, we need notes from your boss, your son, and your wife.

9:14 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Eclectic, no, I still have a solid door. If they put me in a cubicle, I would quit. I'm kind of a snob like that.

Phollower, 3rd cousin is OK. Don't ask why I know that.

PG, it was that kind of a week.

Tysgirl, now see, that's got me and Phollower beat.

DW, if he's smart, he wouldn't take any of it.

Nick, what, the dog doesn't have to produce a note?

5:58 AM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

glad you're back.
not nice to leave us hanging like that.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

I'd say that's just one more good reason to be a lawyer. You never know when you'll need to be aware of who you can bone and then potentially need to marry.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Chad Finn said...

Hey Limpy,

Just wanted to let you know that I banned you purely by accident from my blog, and I hope you have another IP address to post from if you wish, because I got a kick out of your 26-item rebuttal and genuinely respected your take. I was trying to ban someone who was being overly vulgar and zapped you instead. My apologies.


8:58 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Damn you Chad Finn!!!

9:30 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

Halo3? - wtf is *that*? - a VIDEO GAME??? - oh just fucking GREAT. Can't wait. hmphf. lol

2:41 PM  

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