Monday, November 05, 2007

The Goose

has disappeared. Which means I have a cage and a poultry hook in my car for no discernible reason. The hook is about three feet long, has a wooden grip and a metal pole that goes way out before bending around in a hook that would fit around a chikcen's leg, allowing a person to snag the bird without all that pesky running around. The cage could fit a smallish dog. I'm trying really hard not to get pulled over for speeding these days. I walked around the pond the last couple of days. I did find one dead goose, but it was a Canada goose. I also discovered that our pond runs into at least one other pond and there's a decent size stream feeding into both. So the goose could be pretty much anywhere at this point, incuding in the stomach of a fox or coyote. In my imagination, however, the goose was adopted by this person

and is now living a life of ease on the same farm by buddy Mike thinks his former dog was sent to after it bit someone.

I have to run out and pay some bills on the way to court, but if you're really good, later on I'll tell you all about this Sunday's Wiffle-Ball game against four members of a local high school football team. If you're not really good, I'll tell the story twice.


Blogger Maggie said...

If Viggo Mortensen played, I'll be here. If not, get a Oujia board.

10:40 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Wiffle Ball? Dear-the-sweet-baby-jesus, how on earth did you land a woman as hot as your wife? And how the hell do you keep her?! Wiffle Ball?? Dude. Hand over your pocket protector because I KNOW you must have one.

1:04 PM  
Blogger dykewife said...

1. thank you for not calling the goose a "canadian goose".

2. you're a very humane person, but i promise not to tell anyone.

3. wiffle ball, if it'swhat i think it is, is hilarious to watch.

4:17 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

I thought you were gonna say the goose had a note tied around its neck.

6:05 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

P.S. How many more times are we going to have to see a picture of your current wet dream?

You're just doing it to boost your numbers, admit it.

6:07 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Viggo left after the first inning. Something about a date in Montana. I wasn't really listening.

eclectic, Wiffle Ball is wicked awesome you heathen. Especially when one is 38 and needs an excuse to spend an afternoon drinking outside without the wife and kids.

DW, "Canadian goose" is actually a pet peeve of mine. Wiffle Ball is basically baseball with a plastic ball and bat. The ball has small holes on top, so if one knows what they're doing you can really make it curve and sink and stuff.

Tysgirl, Oddly, it did. the note said "Tysgirl broke my wing" And I suspect we'll be seeing pictures of Indira around here for some time to come. She just absolutely kills me. I'm not sure that'll boost my numbers , but I am getting lots of mail from her attorneys.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

I immediately thought to myself, "Self, good luck explaining that to the cops," but I see you were already thinking along those lines.

9:00 PM  
Blogger Zoe said...

That picture never gets old.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

*please let Limpy be pulled-over with the cage and the hook in his backseat. Please let Limpy be pulled-over with the cage and the hook in his backseat.*
Cause I really, really want to hear the story behind that one.

9:46 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

That's so not true, take it back! You know I love animals!

12:39 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

wtf? - chasing a goose? ... Am I watching "HOT FUZZ" again?? lol

3:54 PM  
Blogger dykewife said...

i thought that was what wiffle ball was. i saw a few of the university football team playing it in the bowl last week. i nearly peed myself as the batter nigh on flew with the strength of his swing only to have the ball land 4 feet from him.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

My hopes are for the goose... said "wiffle..."

I LOVED me some wiffle ball when I was a kid.

I really hope that goose is okay and not digesting in a coyote or fox stomach. Then again, it's all a part of the food chain, right?

9:45 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Your goose showed up on my door step this morning with a note tied around it's neck.

"I draw the line at cleveland steamers...If Limpy comes looking for me- ya haven't seen me, got it?"

Poor thing, he was shaking like a leaf!

5:37 AM  
Blogger Phollower said...

I still think it looks like she's cracking a gigantic egg over her head and the yolk part just hasn't come out yet.

7:53 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Rat, I'll have the stuff until this weekend, when I go to NYC with the kids. No way I'm explaining that to some NYPD officer.

Zoe, no, it really doesn't it.

PG, it'd be a funnier story if you were IN the cage. Just sayin'

Tysgirl, geese are well known liars, so I never took it seriously.

LB, still haven't seen "Hot Fuzz", although it's on my list.

DW, yep, that's wiffle-ball. And that's pretty much what we kept doing to these kids.

LK, the predators gotta eat too.

Tysgirl, like I said, geese are well-known liars.

Phollower, and it's still a smokin' hot picture.

9:53 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home