Friday, February 01, 2008

I Really Wish It Was Oregon's Turn Today

because then this would be much more timely. But looking at the table of contents we're not getting to Oregon any time soon, especially when you factor in my inherent laziness, so I'll put this up now rather than forget where it is three years from now when I'm finally trying to write something nice about a state filled with lesbians and rain.

And, apparently, a highway department with way too much dynamite on its hands.

I will get to New York by Monday or Tuesday, depending on whether or not I'm hungover from the Super Bowl or catch whatever flu bug my wife has. Either way, my chances of vomiting at some point this weekend are signifcantly higher than the Giants chances of winning the Super Bowl. I think actually I'm only supposed to refer to the Super Bowl as "The Big Game", because the NFL trademarked the phrase "Super Bowl", but fuck the man right?

Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl

God that gets boring quick.

In other news my wife and I are trying to decide whether or not to buy a new house. Isn't that exciting? Oh, you bet it is. Especially when you come to the conclusion that you can afford a nice house, although by no means a McMansion, OR, you can save for the kids to go to college, but you probably can't do both. And according to a newspaper we're not even middle-class, we're like upper middle-class. Which came as a big fucking surprise to yours truly. It amazes me how little that means these days. Growing up the people we knew of as upper-middle class had the nice homes, the new cars and their kids had nice clothes and cool toys. Now they're either doing what we're doing, plodding along and trying not to spend money unless absolutely necesary or else mortgaged to the hilt and driving the recession along by defaulting on their refinancing. Nice to know that the middle class is truly fucked and the upper middle-class is OK as long as they either don't have kids or have kids so hopelessly dumb that college isn't an issue.

Anyway, the last week as been filled with discussion of whether or not to spend upwards of $400K for a 3 bedroom house with a 2 car garage on 4+ acres of land near a state forest, (and right next to a high voltage power-line right of way that's due to be increased in 2 years!), thereby raising our mortgage to the point that current miscellaneous expenses, like, I don't know, gas for instance, become a problem; or, stay in our current home which we are outgrowing and continue to take the occasional vacation or put braces on the kids teeth and maybe save for college for at least one of them. I'm not sure we're going to swing two tuitions in 14 years even if we move into a fucking tent in that aforementioned state forest.

Or we could move to Alabama and buy the same house minus the high voltage wires for about $6.74. Whichever.


It's days like this when a good whale blubber explosion just means so much.


Blogger The Q said...

$400k+ for a house with land? Does it have indoor toilets? What the fuck are you talking about?!? Is that even possible?

I get sick to my stomach just thinking about ever having to move. Thankfully the only way we'll outgrow this house is if the Hubs goes batshit crazy and I take advantage of his insane frame of mind and am able to bring home as many stray/shelter animals as I would like. Otherwise, we're going to have die in this house. We can't afford a one room shack, with no plumbing on a plot of land the size of a stamp in this state anymore.

I couldn't watch the whale thing...but I'm sure you knew I that.

12:02 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Yeah, California real estate prices do tend to put things in perspective. Plus, your property is a whole hell of a lot more likely to go sliding off into the ocean than mine is. So there's that.

I'm not helping am I?

1:08 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

Just do what my parents did, "You want to go to college? Here's the student loan form. Now get out." OK, it wasn't said quite that way but the, "We ain't paying for it" message came through loud and clear.

Thank god I dropped out after a semester and a half and married a doctor, huh?

1:43 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Maybe you should come out of pornstar retirement to fund their college tuition.

Though I'm not sure who the target audience would be for a 7 minute porn flick.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

tysgirl: No kidding. Most of us are done with the film about 45 seconds after it starts. I mean really, 7 minutes?

7:10 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

phollower: My condolences to your wife.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

tysgirl: Well, I do cook pretty well and I clean the bathrooms. You win some, you lose some.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

We're in a similar situation: education or house. Right now, we're going with education (sending our daughter to a Waldorf school is not cheap, but is the best choice for her developmentally at this time). Seattle housing prices are just disgusting, too.

9:29 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

I think the only way for you to successfully navigate through the current economy is to kill the children. No braces, no after-school sports and lessons, no new clothing and shoes in 5 different sizes in 3 months, and NO COLLEGE TUITION! Problem solved.

I'll send you my bill.

4:34 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

See kids, that's what this blog is about, bringing people like Tysgirl and Phollower together over porno movies.

Alkelda, what's a Waldorf school? You're not sending her to a wee kids football factory are you?

Eclectic, of course, if I go that route I'll probably just start killing anyone who bils me for anything.

9:04 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

phollower: My husband does all 3. And he has a job.

:::runs and hides:::

9:57 PM  
Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

Limpy99: A Waldorf school is an alternative private school in which 1 teacher teaches 8 grades (a different curriculum every year) and the focus is on seasonal and daily rhythms. There is a lot of imagination involved. Outdoor play, song, dance and learning to work with one's hands are emphasized as much as academics. The teachers do not try to fit every kid into one model of excellence.

10:59 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

I wish my kids would fit into just one model of excellence, any model, but just fit in one of them.

You get a house on land for 400K? Our house cost that much and we mow our grass with one of those push mowers, that's how small our lot is.

Lucky bitches.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

I know you didn't ask my opinion but...
I say stay in the house you are in.
Go against the grain of America...


3:28 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

Oh and BTW, Oregon may be filled with lesbians, but at least now we can be lesbians in legally recognized relationships instead of the big sluts that we used to be.

3:10 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Tysgirl, so if Phollower doesn't do any of them and he doesn't have to work and his wife plays hockey, isn't he still doing OK?

Alkelda, thanks.

RSG, we'd get a house on land for $400K if we HAD $400K. That's sort of the crucial difference there.

Rhonda, I hear you, but at this stage our options for downsizing means selling the kids, and that's illegal. I know because I checked. More than once.

RSG, I beleive the politically correct term is "hellbound whores", not "sluts".

8:26 AM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

At least you're not out here in CA where $400,000 would buy you a one room shack.

7:28 PM  
Blogger Sylvia said...

Limpy - luckily for you, you have not had to watch me play hockey. Believe me, it sounds much more interesting than it actually is.

9:32 PM  

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