Friday, March 21, 2008

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

Our sponsor, of course, would be me. Because I refuse to sell out and let this blog become a corporate shell of itself. Because I have pride, dignity, integrity, and mostly, a blog so bad that no one in their right minds would pay dollar one to sponsor the fucking thing. Truth be told I'd pimp this fucker out in a heartbeat for the price of a decent cheeseburger and milkshake combo.

As some of you, (and by some I mean one. Say hello Tysgirl), have noticed I haven't been popping up as much as I used to. Until recently, I'd cruise around all my links, and some links I hopped to from other links, and some from those links, and some Cambodian porn sites that I'd rather just forget about, many times a day. I'd leave witty, (obnoxious and poorly edited) comments strewn about the internet like so many used condoms in the New York governor's office.

Seriously, even the blind guys getting more tail than me. What the hell?

Well, the reason is fairly simple. I have a job now. For the last 8+ years I worked for one company. When I started we worked like rabid beavers, handling 120+ cases each, trying 10-15 a year, and for some reason, foaming at the mouth and chewing a lot of wood for some weird dam project down south. I never really understood that last part. But for the last couple of years, things tailed off. By the end, I was routinely coming into work no earlier than 11 and leaving by 4:30. And more than keeping up with my diminishing case load. And also finishing off the dam with some tender young saplings.

Most people would consider that a dream job, and for awhile I did as well. Let's face it, getting paid full-time to work part-time doesn't suck. It also doesn't last. I've said this before, and again, I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think that job is going to be around in two years. I know they're not trying to fill my position, (although really, who could? he said, puffing out his pale, scrawny chest and blinding three people), and that's probably not really a good sign to anyone else there. So basically, I made the decision that I was too young to retire and it was time to get a real job.

So I did and the hell of it is, the fuckers want me to work. And I have the caseload now that most of my time is spent dealing with the law, and less randomly cruising the internet looking for ways to make my cock get bigger. Or just big. Whichever. Also I have a new computer system to figure out, new email to figure out, (damn thing has already resulted in three conferences with the Help desk, and now there's some other warning popping up. Something is "corrupt" I've been told, and for once it isn't me), and just in general I don't think it's a good idea for the new guy to spend a lot of time fucking off. There'll be plenty of time for that next month.

But I do generally make some rounds late at night. So I'm around, just kind of tired and somewhat less inclined to type. Things will pick back up, of that I'm sure, I just need to adjust to actually working for a living again. Once I do, this place will rise to the same level of mediocrity you've come to know and tolerate.


Blogger The Q said...

I know first hand, that a few of my readers personally love the comments you leave on my blog. They said you're "funny" & "witty". I have to agree. So not all of your comments are "obnoxious and poorly edited".

Anyway, it was nice to "see" you make the rounds tonight and leave some comments.

I guess I suck at saying "I miss you", no big surprise.

11:09 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

That's just fucking great. Why would you tell people I've noticed you've been having troubles popping up as much as you used to?

This is the first I've heard of your erectile dysfunction.

miss me?

10:10 AM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Limpy! You mean you are actually working for a living now? Excellent! Hard work will keep you young—or so I’ve been told (although I don’t believe it).

“If people knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.” ~ Michelangelo

11:24 AM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

I too have noticed and for that reason alone was why I visited the doctor last week for some drugs to help me cope with my loss.

I was very excited to see you commenting on my Threesome Post yesterday. I have to say that I've become so accustomed to your fabulous comments that sometimes when I'm writing a post I am already anticipating what you'll say.

I've missed you too Limpy. . .

11:26 AM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

Ohhhhh - so *that's* why your email doesn't work anymore. And here I thought it was just me that was denied access.
Oh well, you're outta the loop on my lil project... had to come outta camo just to come over here to tell ya!
Nyah nyah nyah =P

3:24 PM  
Blogger dykewife said...

don't you hate it when work interferes with computer life? what's their problem? i suppose you want to have sex with your wife once in a while too? geez!

5:41 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Man, that sucks. But, I ain't going nowhere. (fuel for the impending MS post) Come visit when you can.

Love ya-

BTW, once things settle down, I need your new email address. That is, if you still want me share POA pics with you.

8:06 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Q, thanks for the compliments, and I think you carried that off quite nicely.

Tysgirl, damn, now I've gone and blown our secret. (Counts to 10 to see if Tysgirl makes comment on "blown" reference)

Thanks Nick. I don't beleive it either.

RSG, that post cried out for a comment. Not that that situation is going to end up in any way other than an unmitigated disaster.

LB, I am unbelievably flattered that I got you to come out of camo mode.

DW, um, more than once in awhile actually. I'm kind of a perv like that.

Syd, I'll send out the new email once the problems are ironed out. No sense infecting the rest of you with whatever crap is going on.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Oh, I understand. My blogging went down hill the moment I quit my full-time job and 5 part-time jobs and my life went to no job at all. What the hell? Who knew, "job" was corporate talk for "fucking around all day?"

...well, and there is that other kind of job we know and love so well.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

Good luck. I hear all of that. I have never been able to check any blogs from work at any job, but this new job is also requiring 60 + hours a week and some nights I still manage to post some naked breasts, but my visits to other blogs are way down or way behind (after there are 35 comments and no one will ever read mine). I don't think I have had a witty post in months but I am just trying to slug my way through it. These new jobs really do cut into the fucking off aspect of life, but I do feel much better applying myself at this new challenge and I hope you do too. I did mention to work the other day that they better remove the internet filter blocking my access to or else my hours will tail off fast once the Yankees start up. I might even toss on today's preseason thing on the computer to see what's up. I can listen to the radio feed while at work so at least I won't be tempted to look up every three seconds for 4 hours. Or is it 5 hours that Yankees games last now? Maybe Giradi will be able to do something about that. Anyway, good luck & it's probably best not to get caught looking at tysgirl's blog at work with your pants around your ankles.

9:39 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Pfffftttt... you? Working?! Riiiiiight. You wanna abandon us, fine. But don't think we're just going to fall for the old "I'm working for a living" line.

1:16 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

I'm going to remain ladylike and not take your bait.

I knew I wasn't the only one missing you. I was just the one dumb enough to admit if first.

I hope that your second week goes well and that you find your footing. Please remember me when you get around to giving out the new email. I've missed my daily dose of oink.

Happy Easter.

8:44 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

PG, I'm still waiting for that "other" job to become part of this one. But my wife won't commute.

Rat, I spent Friday afternoon trying to position my radio just well wnough to pick up the Yankee broadcasts. Took about 20 minutes, but success!

Eclectic, coming from someone who hasn't posted in a month dear.

Tysgirl, got my footing by Friday. But as of Monday morning, today, the email is still fucked up.

6:36 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...


Touche`. Nicely played.

9:03 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Grrr. Your new email SUCKS.

You know that blog you threatened to form a posse with me on? She's back. Just thought you'd like to know.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Cedar said...

Best of success on your new job.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Persnickety Ticker said...

Just wandering through blogs that I found from reading other blogs that I have wandered through...funny stuff here! Haven't stumbled on the cambodian porn thankfully...will make sure I watch my step. I will be back! Good luck on the new job!

3:57 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Eclectic, I thought you'd appreciate that.

Tysgirl, you have no idea. At this point, I'm not 100% as to what my email address even is!

Cedar, thank you.

Persnickety, welcome aboard!

6:32 AM  
Blogger Tai said...

So you're not blogging as much because you have a life?
Really, that's not quite good enough, is it.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Ookami Snow said...

Wait, you had a job?

3:23 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Tai, "not quite good enough"? The blogging or my life?

Ookami, kinda, sorta, yeah.

6:39 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Tell the sponsor he still owes me a list.

6:57 PM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

There must be some way to legally extort - er, exact - financial compensation from you for these blatant "bait and switch" tactics. I can't speak for my fellow bloggers, but I am considering a Class Action lawsuit.

5:49 PM  

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