Friday, March 14, 2008

Future Plans

Powerball, one of the multi-state mega-lotteries, is up to $275 million (that's like $185 million Euros!) for Saturday's drawing. I bought two tickets instead of my usual one, so I'm pretty much a shoo-in. Lasy night I let my wife know that if I win I am going to hire a $5,500 an hour hooker,
just to see what they do that justifies the price.

My wife said that if we, (notice she changed "I" to "we"? No dummy she), win $275 million, I can go ahead and hire a hooker. So as far as I'm concerend we have a legally binding agreement. You'd all better keep your fingers crossed, because I will definitely let you all know what she does to justify $5,500 an hour.

My only real concern, (aside from disease, arrest, loss of whatever shreds of dignity I may still have), is what we're going to do for the other 45 minutes.

Coming soon:

No really, I mean it this time.


Blogger eclectic said...

Meh... don't worry about the other 45 minutes. She's a woman. She'll find something to talk about while you sleep.

1:36 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

15 whole minutes, huh? Someone's feeling frisky after a few days off!

4:23 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

It's almost enough to make me wish you win. Then you'd get all corrupted though & never finish the states. I still have too much learning to do.

7:00 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

I just read the previous two comments. Those are some great ball busting comments!

7:00 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

Pssst...hire 2 hookers, and bring popcorn. :P

12:18 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

Oh, Syd is smart. They might let you join in, but I doubt it.

1:05 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Eclectic, please, she's a hooker; she'll be going through my wallet.

Tysgirl, not really, but for $5,500I figure I'll go for two!

Rat, What do you mean "almost"? Shit, if I win it's not like this whole "work" thing will get in the way of blogging anymore.

Syd, great idea, but for that kind of money, the popcorn's on them. (All together now) Literally on them.

RSG, I'm paying them $5,500 an hour. They'll let me join in. And also because I'm really hot and I can tell they like me for me. Just like the strippers. Really.

9:15 PM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Twice! The giving just never stops with you.

7:12 AM  
Blogger wisdomstuff said...

Of course strippers like you for you. You are also the person they are thinking of when they are having sex with whomever. And really, 15 minutes isn't half bad :-)

8:01 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Just dropped by to wish you good luck (not that you need it). I hope your first day goes well tomorrow.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

At $5500/hr you need not worry about disease. That’s what the premium cost is for (plus she ain’t stupid or drug addicted but probably not as sexually talented as the legal prostitutes in Nevada).

9:46 PM  
Blogger Phollower said...

If I remember correctly, back when I first discovered your blog you had posted a picture of your wife (from behind) wearing nothing but a scarf or something. I'm pretty sure if you hit the $275 million you could already get whatever you want from somebody who'd be tough to beat in the hotness category.

If I remember correctly again (and that would be twice in one day so surely one of them is wrong) one of your son's friends agrees. That was another good one.

6:29 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Hell, for $5,500 I want to know what she would do for an extra $500 and how she could fill 5 more minutes. I like to know my hookers are clever, witty, and quick on their feet when things are thrown at them....pun not intended.

I also want to know what her tat says. World Wide W???

1:10 PM  
Blogger Callie said...

Hell, if we won the lottery, I'd hire one just to find out, myself!

I've always been curious . . .


3:36 PM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Tysgirl, what can I say? I'm a giver.

Wisdomstuff, oh, that line that the strippers are thinking about me while having sex with someone else? priceless! And I'm just shallow enough to go with it too!

Tysgirl, thanks. Went well. Very busy. Blogging at night now.

Nick, well then, off to Nevada!

Phollower, I may have to let my wife in on this blog just to read that compliment. Thanks man.

PG, I think it says "I kill political careers" in Swahili.

Callie, you don't live in West Virginia do you? Because if so, I expect you to make that hire quick!

8:57 PM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

Hmm ar-kansas, where the roads are made out of dirt and the people are even dirtier.

Okay, that wasn't nice.

Oh, and where brothers and sisters are also aunts, uncles, moms and dads.

10:30 AM  

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