Thursday, July 10, 2008

Not With A Bang So Much As A Whimper

The title of this post should give you some small idea as to how our team faired in the Pool Championship game. For those of you who can't quite figure it out, let's just say that by the third inning I was really hoping that those looming thunderclouds would open up and we could get a do-over. No such luck.

To make a long story short, we lost 8-1 and it really wasn't that close. To make a long story longer, we were in trouble from the first inning on. Our first hitter got on base due to an error. Our manager had him try to steal on the first pitch to the next batter, even though the last time we played this team their catcher threw out three of our runners. And now he's 4-4. Maybe not the decision I would have made. At any rate, our next two hitters grounded out, foreshadowing our offense for the rest of the day.

We started our potentially best pitcher. And I say "potentially" while really hoping his parents never ever stumble across this atrocity of a blog because while he has million dollar athletic ability, he has a .10 head. I've thrown him out of practice before for being a dick to his teammates, and more problematic for him, and us, if he gets in trouble in a game he can't handle it and starts to sulk. Which I loathe. I am not the manager and due to a number's game I didn't get to sit in the dugout, but if I had been, (and it's probably better for everyone I wasn't since I don't keep my thoughts to myself), he'd have blisters on his ears. From the yelling people; it's not like I'm going to set fire to his ears. Probably.

At any rate, naturally he couldn't find the plate with a road map during the game and issued walks as though he were selling beer the day before Prohibition came back. And when he did find the strike zone, the other team usually hit the ball. Hard. Where our guys weren't.

Let me be clear about this. The other team was flat better than us. All things being equal, no way we win that game. They were bigger, more experienced and more skilled. They deserved to win. Sure, I hope they all get hepatitis this week, (and since they play their games behind the local sewage treatment plant, they could!), but they did deserve to win.

After one inning it was 1-0. After 2, 3-0. After 3, 5-1 (our comeback fell short), after 4 it was 7-1, and after 5, it was 8-1. They didn't bat in the sixth.

As for my son, I thought he played well. In the first inning our catcher tried throwing someone out at second, much less successfully than the catcher for the other team had. He tossed the ball about 4' over the head of our shortstop, who, to be fair, is in fact short. Usually that means the base stealer can get to third, if not actually score. The coach started to yell for him to run, but then noticed that some kid playing centerfield had, by some miracle, actually listened to his own coaches during practice, had run in to back up the play, and was standing there with the ball just begging the kid to try to get third.

In the third inning our pitcher threw a strike and, as had been the pattern, said strike was sent hurtling into centerfield, over the centerfielders head, a sure double, maybe a triple. Suddenly, much to the home team's chagrin, that same goddamn kid in centerfield was seen tracking down the ball, running to where it was going to land, and, perhaps most unsettling of all in a Little League game, actually catching it for an out. Even the other coach yelled "Nice play center"

Our centerfielder is named Kevin, and he's my son.

Then he got pulled out of the game so we could meet league reuirements and make sure our two bench guys got in for three outs and one at bat. Kevin's probably our best outfielder, but he hits 8th for a reason. So, needing offense he and the 9th hitter got pulled . He was pretty upset, but I just explained it was league rules, and while we had to put the other two kids in the field, there was no way we could put them in the infield. They'd be killed. Also I pointed out that regardless of what happened we'd be going to Yankee Stadium the next day and sitting in the front row, so who gave a shit? Cheered him right up.

So naturally, not only did his center-field replacement strike out, (just like Kevin had earlier), but in the 4th inning one of the other hitters hit a line-drive into center. Replacement Boy charges in, the ball bounces towards him, and then, as I had told my brother minutes before was going to happen, the two kept charging in opposite directions. The ball wound up at the fence, two more runs scored, and my son could be heard muttering "No way I miss that" Oh wait, that was me. I think my kid was stealing Gatorade in the dugout.

Next inning the same kid failed to catch an easy pop-up, letting another run score.

I like this kid, but he's been doing this all season, and in fact he did it in warm-ups that day and I had told him he couldn't do it in a game or else something bad would happen. Which is pretty much what did happen, and why Little Leaguers will make you turn to crack.

At any rate, if Kevin stayed in center, it would have been a different outcome. Specifcally, we'd have lost 5-1 instead of 8-1.

So that's the season. Now we'll rest up for a few weeks, and then probably do it all again for Fall Ball.

Now where's Amy Winehouse and my crack?


Blogger just a kat said...

WTG Kevin!!
How was Yankee Stadium and front row?
I dont think you want Amy Winehouse so much as her crack...unless....(eww) skeeve.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Callie said...

Well, at least it's over for now, and you can relax, and not have to worry about your problem players for a little while.

DOes this mean you're going to be blogging more?????

8:33 AM  
Blogger Cedar said...

Good job Kevin!!! When you get to Yankee Stadium boo A-Rod for me. If you sing LIKE A VIRGIN when he is up to bat, there is a 20 in it for you.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Zoe said...

Sounds about like the recaps of our last 4 softball games. And anyone coming off the bench would most probaly be better than our center fielder, who couldn't catch a cold at a germ farm.

Yes, I am the center fielder.

12:45 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Ouch. But overall it was a grand season or you' have not be in that game. Right?

5:31 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

Yeah Kevin!!!

Glad to hear that front row of the Yankee game cheered him up and that you were able to share this whole experience with him.

6:20 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

I love to see little league outfielders actually paying attention!! And when they make great plays like that? It just really makes me happy. Nice work, Kevin!

Oh man... our son's final tournament, the pitching... it was awful. Our defense was doing what it could, but y'know, when you walk in 4 runs, there's not a whole lot anyone in the field can do. The whole post-season had our bull-pen pretty shallow, but it was awful that last tournament. Except for the actual last game, which our boys won handily. Go figure.

Anyway, this probably means that you now have time to post more, AND to give me the award for Longest Comment EVER, which is great! I look forward to seeing your new posts on a regular basis, and I'm sure Q knows someone in the trophy business. ;)

7:12 AM  
Blogger Party Girl said...

So, what your saying is, there were problems, glad it's over, back to be beer?

10:13 AM  
Blogger B.E. Earl said...

Sounds like your review was more fun than the game. Sucks to have to take your kid out of the game, but like you said...Yankee Stadium. Front row. Makes all the difference in the world.

At least you won't have to deal with your that meat that started the game as pitcher for a while.

8:54 PM  
Blogger Rat In A Cage said...

At least the Yankees won that game & if you show him how the Yankees looked today against Haliday he should be proud to be just as good as anyone on the Yankees. No reason to tell him that they blow this year. I liked the to make a "long story longer" line. Good one.

12:09 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Congrats to Kevin for a job well done!

6:57 AM  
Blogger puerileuwaite said...

So does this mean that "Chico's Bail Bonds" won't be sponsoring you guys next season?

Oh, and "Just Say No" to Amy Winehouse. She's no damned good at handling pop ups and the post-game team handshake.

7:49 AM  
Blogger JMEPED said...

You lost me at little league, but I hate other people's kids anyway... You should have made him cry. Tell him his mom is putting him up for adoption because he's such a huge disappointment to his family and the team. And then scream ,"Why can't you be more like Kevin?!"

From your title I thought we were going to get a good sex story!

7:10 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

You haven't found your crack yet?

8:07 AM  
Blogger tysgirl said...

Are you still snorting crack off Amy's ass? (just the thought of that makes me dry heave, she's icky)

Does one even snort crack, or do you have to smoke it? I'm so lame when it comes to drugs.

Just forget I was here.

8:11 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

Kat, the game and the front row were awesome. Kids had a great time. That's a long drive though.

Callie, apparently it doesn't, but I'm going to start trying more anyway.

Cedar, the guy behind us hollered out that he thought A-Rod was sexy. Does that count?

Zoe, shouldn't have washed the shirt.

Nick, that's what we told the kids anyway.

Kari, thanks.

Eclectic, I've never actually looked for a longest comment ever, but I have to figure that one is top 5.

PG, what do you mean "back"?

Earl, not for a few weeks anyway. Then we start Fall Ball. where we tossed him off the team last year.

Rat, I don't mind when they get shut down by a pitcher as good as Halladay. But Burnett? Come on!

Tysgirl, thanks.

Pug, I saw a Chico's Bail Bonds/Bad News Bear shirt at the Yankee game. Although I would think wearing a shirt that says "bail bonds" in the Bronx might generate more confusion than its worth.

Jmeped, I told him the best part of him trickled down his mother's leg. How's that?

Eclectic, no, but I did find all the work I was blowing off for Little League.

Tysgirl, you smoke crack. You snort coke. You shoot heroin. Well, I do anyway.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

Awww, sorry to hear 'bout the championships. Damn, the kids shoulda played my team, they'd still be in it. LOL ;)

ps. Don't know if you've set up your blog to receive comments in your email yet or not, BUT... fyi: I trolled back thru your archives and left ya one, on your 1st 50 things. =)

12:57 PM  
Blogger Cedar said...

Limpy, no that does not count that is just creepy.

And the season has been over for 6 days...what is the next state up? I have the next four days off I will be back.

6:31 PM  

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