Oh Right, I Have A Blog

No posts for 12 days. I think that's a record since I started this little horror show way back when. Of course, in those days I was working for a firm that didn't have much to do, so I could afford to jack around all day on the computer and the internet and the web and those other places John McCain can't find, and still get my work done. Now I can't really do that, and since this blog is still unknown to those I know in the real world, I don't do it from home all that often.

In short, I think that thiongs are going to slow down around here. I could be wrong; I've thought that beofre and then sudden bursts of creativity start flowing. Fine, it happened once OK? Happy now?


Anyway, last week my mother took the kids for a week, so it was adults only at Chez Limpy. Suffice it to say I wasn't going to be doing much writing then. Not when there's that much housecleaning to do! And all the sex. Some of it even with a partner. Don't tell me I'm not a wild man.


This week I've been getting hooked on the Olympics. I try to watch the weird sports like team handball and shit like that. Last night I found myself watching the US men's gymnastics team, more than likely because I'm a huge homosexual, but also becuase they were unexpectedly going for the gold. Then two of them basically fell off the pommel horse, (which sounds dirty but really isn't), and they got a bronze. Which menas they came in third. So they're parading in front of the camera and saying dumb shit like "That's how we roll!" Listen, if you come in third, don't say "that's how we roll" You lost. Twice. Yes, it was a great effort, and yes, no one thought you could do it, but two teams beat you. Have some fucking class.


Of course, I say this knowing that if my gymnastic routine were to be announced on TV it would go like this "Well, Jim, I think where Limpy's routine went wrong was when he jumped up and grabbed the rings, immediately dislocating both shoulders and causing him to fall screaming to the ground, where he shattered his ankle. After that he was pretty much finsihed, but the sobbing and thumb-sucking really had to hurt his artistic score as well."

I'm also trying to read "Guns, Germs & Steel", which purports to explain how the world developed the way it has and why some cultures, (i.e., whitey), has all the power and why other cultures, (i.e., everyone else) does not. Apparently it has something to do with the development of food and handwriting and the like, but I'm not really sure, because it is so fucking boring. I highly recommend not reading it yourself. Frankly, I've always just thought the explanation was that, for better or for worse, that northern Europeans just happen to be really good at killing other people, and sort of enthusiastic about it as well. Especialy if shiny baubles are involved. Or oil.

And this weekend, on the cable TV, my wife and I watched what might have been the worst movie ever made, and is certainly the worst I've ever seen, Shoot 'Em Up. And I say that even though it has Paul Giamatti and Clive Owen in the cast, and they're usually excellent. And of course, it also has Monica Bellucci, in it, who's scalding hot and who I would fuck like you read about, so long as what you read about included the phrase, "prematurely ejaculated as soon as Monica took off her top, then spent the evening sobbing in shame."



And the movie still sucks. There is a good sex scene involving Monica about halfway through that makes up for a lot. But other than that, just skip the damn thing.





OK, that's it for now. I'll get to Tennessee at some point. You've been warned.