Recovering Straight Girl, in her most recent post that wasn't about destroying America through gay marriage, asked what were you going to do to help push Obama into the White House, thereby destroying America by putting a community organizer in the Oval Office.
Well, since I'm a complete simpleton, and very self-involved, I took this to be a direct question to me. And since, as a community organizer, (i.e., I'm doing Little League again and we just beat some team 24-4 but it was OK because their coach called it a "learning experience" as we begged him to cut it short), sSo to answer this question, I am going to spread unfounded rumors about Sarah Palin, America's newest sweetheart, around my corner of the Timmy-net.
If your kids don't watch "The Fairly Oddparents" you didn't get that.
Apparently, the National Enquirer is going to run a story in which unnamed sources
, described only as "an enemy", will say that Sarah strayed from her marriage and had an affair with her husband's business partner. Do I know if this is true? Nope. Haven't got a clue. Is the McCain campaig denying this? You bet your ass! In fact, they've gone so far as to say that they will "consider"
legal action as a result of these vicious, unfounded rumors. Of course, if someone were to accuse me of marital infidelity I wouldn't "consider" anything, I'd sue your fucking ass off. Unless there was something to it. Then I might "consider" my options, and I might "consider" the ramifications of suing someone and opening myself up to the legal discovery process and I might instead "consider" just pointing out that the Enquirer is a rag that uses unnamed and paid sources, and then I'd "consider" that they were spot on about John Edwards and then I'd "consider" shutting up. But that's just me.
Now, do I particularly care if Sarah Palin had an affair? Good heavens no. Are you as tired of this question and answer format as I am? More than likely. Did I steal it from 'Doonesbury'? Not intentionally, but I did just recall reading a similar sounding series in said strip, so I thought I'd best cite it.
No, unless politicians are given to axe-murdering hobos, what they do in their spare time really doesn't interest me. Wear women's clothing while leading the FBI? Go ahead Mr. Hoover, and might I just say you look lovely in that particular shade of green. Feel like a blow job from an intern above the legal age of consent? Well, if you feel like risking the wrath of your wife, far be it from me to advise against that Mr. President. Like anonymous gay sex in airport bathrooms? Well far be it from me Mr. Senator...wait, really, the bathroom? Fucking freak.
The point being that there are many, many, (repeat many about 659 times here and you get the idea), reasons to vote against someone like Sarah Palin. Like her idea that Creationism
should be taught on equal footing in science classrooms. Like her abstinence only sex education
position, which flies in the face of reality yet does provide for delicious, delicious irony. Like her favorable views of library censorship as a test of loyalty
. Or the fact that she increased the debt load
of her town to the tune of $22 million, $15 million of which went for a sports complex. Stuff like that. But will anyone pay attention to that? No, because those are "issues". Those are things that matter. Those are real, day-to-day decisions that will have an effect on our lives. Sarah Palin's positions in these regards will affect,(and they will because I'll lay you good odds she finishes McCain's term), what your children learn in school, (God created the Earth and everything else in 7 days and evolution means you go to hell), or don't learn in school, (a condom, properly used, is much better birth control protection than pulling out and hoping for the best. Levi.). What you can read or see at your local, public, library. How much you'll pay in taxes. Real life. The stuff that matters.
But does anyone pay attention to that stuff. Maybe, but not enough. Because if they did I wouldn't be writing this stuff. Sarah Palin would be run back to Alaska on a rail. McCain might not have reversed every position he's taken over the last 22 years in the Senate to try to be President. Well, maybe not everything, just little things like tax cuts, immigration and offshore drilling. No, instead people pay attention to things like mistakes her 17 year old daughter made, and now has to live out publicly. Or how funny it is to bash community organizers.
Oh, and by the way, as someone who busts his ass to make sure kids like yours have some fun and learn to play baseball, FUCK YOU!!!!!
No, far be it from any of the voting public to think about the issues. So for now I'll have to be satisfied, or at least hope, that an unfounded rumor in a "newspaper" I usually rely on to report on Jessica Simpsons boobs, might trash this candidate from hell.
And that's just sad.
NOTE: Earl advises me that the links were screwed up. Undoubtedly my fault. Rather than take the time to fix them I'll just say that if you want to check the links, just do what I did and google "Sarah Palin" and than add "affair", "creationism", "censorship" etc and you'll get a whole list to choose from. Enjoy.