You'll Never Guess Where This One Winds Up
Nina Blackwood is the DJ, and if memory serves she was one of the first MTV VJ's, kind of the whore to Martha Quinn's wholesome, girl-next-door image. Which in turn makes Mojo Nixon's song "Stuffin' Martha's Muffin" even better. Nina has some trivia thing on about what year in the 80's three things happened, none of which I remember right now, (possibly because I was drunk through most of the later part of that decade), but I do remember her saying that the right answer was 1989. And that because of these three things 1989 was a very important year. Which it was, but not for those reasons. No it was important because that was the year I finally stopped being a virgin.
Raise your hand if you saw that plot twist coming.
New Year's Eve, 1988. At a frat party where my roommate was a brother. With a girl I'd met a few weeks before during a snowball fight when I hit her right in the crotch with a snowball. I was so drunk that after midnight I don't think I could have put a carrot in a washtub, let alone my pertinent parts into her pertinent parts, and there is a distinct possibility that I lost my cherry to the mattress, but by daybreak I had become a man. A man with a bad hangover sleeping naked next to a girl in the lounge of a frat house, albeit one with a locked door. It was as classy as it sounds, and I'll never forget it. You'll be shocked to know that we broke up a few weeks later, although we did manage to do it a few more times before it ended. Fortunately, the emotional scarring was kept to a minimum by the lack of any real emotional attachment by either party.
Let that be a lesson to all you youngsters out there. If you're going to lose your virginity, do it with someone you don't really care about. That way, when things end, as they almost inevitably will, you can avoid the whole devastating emotional impact that I've seen others go through and just move on.
Oh, and use condoms. Don't ever accuse us here at Limpy World of condoning unsafe teen sex. Irresponsible we're OK with.